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Can I lick it? (mander.xyz)
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[-] dojan@lemmy.world 120 points 8 months ago

I wanted to tell a joke here, but all the good jokes argon.

[-] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 69 points 8 months ago

That was such a noble thing to admit.

[-] lseif@sopuli.xyz 36 points 8 months ago

it didnt get a reaction out of me

[-] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 20 points 8 months ago

You could say you were inert to my attempt at humor.

[-] Skanky@lemmy.world 17 points 8 months ago

The original joke was pure Gold, but these later ones are just Boron me

[-] NotSpez@lemm.ee 10 points 8 months ago
[-] jawa21@lemmy.sdf.org 23 points 8 months ago

I was going to tell a sodium joke, but Na.

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[-] pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de 108 points 8 months ago

We can't lick sodium or chlorine, but combine them and you get something we literally make blocks of for the purpose of licking. What a world!

[-] Allero@lemmy.today 34 points 8 months ago

One is bad in one way and the other is bad in the opposite way.

Neutralize!

[-] Reddfugee42@lemmy.world 21 points 8 months ago

Remind your cousin Becky about this when she starts going on about mercury compounds in vaccines

[-] randomthin2332@lemmy.world 14 points 8 months ago

This is like the nile red videos where hes like "plastic gloves are essentially grape fruit" and then proceeds to make it.

[-] brian@lemmy.ml 71 points 8 months ago

But does this imply licking it in a "lickable" state? I have a hard time imagining licking a gas, and licking hydrogen as a liquid at -250 C or so sounds, not great.

[-] wahming@monyet.cc 43 points 8 months ago

Depending on the quantity and the leidenfrost effect, you might be fine

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[-] Simon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 56 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

That's hilarious because me and my brother licked lead fishing weights for fun as a child. It's probably why I'm retarded.

Can someone make one for suitability as dildo material?

Edit: Here it is, chumps

[-] threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works 9 points 8 months ago

How is bromine "probably fine"? It should be in the rectal damage section.

Calcium should probably be in the "Ow, my ass" section.

[-] Simon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

There are a bunch wrong. Feel free to go crazy with it.

Edit: NEW VERSION IS UP Yay

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[-] olutukko@lemmy.world 8 points 8 months ago

awesome contribution

[-] multifariace@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago

A nobel prize would be given to a lot more of those. Especially those naturally brittle or liquid.

[-] Simon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I guess it's only implied but any liquid is inserted as a solid - e.i. below its melting point. It's assumed anything crumbly has a suitable binding agent.

A few of them are definitely wrong as has been pointed out to me but I'm glad we're all learning about science!

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[-] xkforce@lemmy.world 45 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Lithium, Sodium etc. need to be upped to "please reconsider." Calcium and all the lanthanides are also metals I would not advise licking because theyre very reactive. Promethium is especially dangerous due to its radioactivity with its longest lived isotope having a half life of around 17 years. So not only is it reactive, youd die to the radiation too.

[-] atomicorange@lemmy.world 12 points 8 months ago

Lithium is just gonna be a little fizzy like pop rocks. No explosions, thankfully. The LiOH produced would not be fun for you, but probably won’t hurt anyone else.

[-] xkforce@lemmy.world 8 points 8 months ago

Lithium salts are used to treat bipolar. The metal isnt just reacting with the water on your tongue to create a very strong base (and lots of heat), you are also going to be ingesting that Lithium (as a lithium soap as it reacts with oils and fats) which can have different (unpleasant) effects on you depending on how much was ingested. If your kidney function is impaired, it gets worse.

[-] nickwitha_k@lemmy.sdf.org 35 points 8 months ago

Please don't lick elemental hydrogen.

[-] thegreenguy@sopuli.xyz 7 points 8 months ago

Out of curiosity, what would happen if you do?

[-] nickwitha_k@lemmy.sdf.org 19 points 8 months ago

In the hypothetical, if one were able to lick elemental hydrogen in its atomic, rather than molecular form, it would have a few potential effects. The one that would concern me most would be its aggressive reactivity, ripping hydrogens away from anything that it could in order to achieve stability. This would potentially cause tissue damage both from the deprotonation and shift in pH.

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[-] Arcity@feddit.nl 11 points 8 months ago

Nothing, because you can have only one atom of it. Multiple will just form molecular hydrogen H2. That one hydrogen atom will aggressively rip of another hydrogen of a molecule of water for example, but it won't be noticeable.

[-] FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 31 points 8 months ago

I'd bump up cesium, rubidium, and probably potassium to "please reconsider", as I would not want to stand near you

[-] ilinamorato@lemmy.world 26 points 8 months ago

A decent chunk of these are "how would you even?" and a few others are "you're doing it right now."

[-] lledrtx@lemmy.world 21 points 8 months ago
[-] Reddfugee42@lemmy.world 13 points 8 months ago

It's literally medicine in small doses

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[-] stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 8 months ago

Uranium is only yellow for some reason

[-] SkidFace@lemmy.world 9 points 8 months ago

I fully agree with it being yellow. By far, the most common isotope of uranium is uranium-238, which is indeed radioactive, but not dangerously radioactive. In this list, lead is listed as a yellow because it can give you heavy metal poisoning. In this scenario, the uranium would cause more damage to your body by damaging it as lead would (heavy metal poisoning affecting brain, kidneys, liver, etc) before the radiation would ever have an impact on your body.

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[-] PervServer@lemmynsfw.com 21 points 8 months ago

Lick my As! You chemists can't stop me from slobbering on every element.

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[-] IndiBrony@lemmy.world 19 points 8 months ago

Yes you can!

[-] mlg@lemmy.world 19 points 8 months ago

Instructions unclear for isotopes

What if I want to lick U-235?

[-] pete_the_cat@lemmy.world 18 points 8 months ago

But Lead tastes so good!

I wonder what metallic Sodium tastes like...

[-] becausechemistry@lemm.ee 20 points 8 months ago

It tastes like hot hydrogen gas (that will quickly mix with oxygen and taste like superheated steam).

If that doesn’t get ya, it would taste like sodium hydroxide, and also soap. (The soap is from the hydroxide turning the fats in your cells into soap.)

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[-] bahbah23@lemmy.world 15 points 8 months ago

It tastes like pain.

[-] deus@lemmy.world 17 points 8 months ago

They're all lickable, it's just that some you can only lick once.

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[-] Wilzax@lemmy.world 17 points 8 months ago

I think licking pure uranium is worse for your health than licking pure chlorine gas

[-] Liz@midwest.social 15 points 8 months ago

I think the assumption with the chlorine is that you end up inhaling it and dying fairly quickly. Licking uranium isn't a great idea, but you might not ever have noticable effects, even long term, if very little comes off onto your tongue. I know people who have accidently tasted plutonium in solution.

[-] mathterdark@lemmy.world 17 points 8 months ago

Can I lick it?

Green - yes, you can!

Yellow, Red, Purple - no, you can’t!

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[-] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 15 points 8 months ago

I dunno, if that gasses are in a state where they're able to be licked, they'd mess you up pretty bad

[-] bdonvr@thelemmy.club 14 points 8 months ago

I'd say downgrade Mercury to yellow. Licking Mercury won't hurt you as long as you hold your breath.

Having it close to your breathy parts is always not a great idea though.

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[-] doubtingtammy@lemmy.ml 12 points 8 months ago

I'm gonna lick Ununennium and you can't stop me

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[-] bahbah23@lemmy.world 9 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I would avoid licking zinc. It's a necessary nutrient but it doesn't take much to mess your stomach up.

[-] ursakhiin@beehaw.org 9 points 8 months ago

My lead sandwich is calling to me

[-] Someonelol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 8 months ago
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this post was submitted on 22 Apr 2024
827 points (99.2% liked)

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