It's no Gameboy, that's for sure. I use it resting on a pillow on my lap, so I don't actually have to hold it up. Works very well that way actually

Yeah, it is basically impossible for me to use the stock switch for anything more than an hour handheld with my hands cramping up. I ended up having to get some rubber grips with a palm bumpout in order for it to be remotely comfortable.

The steam deck is a huge upgrade in that regard. Significantly more comfortable to hold. Plus, the steam deck is capable of emulating pretty much anything on the switch full speed :). On top of all of that is barely even costs more lol.

It's an amazing console, but the shortcomings you've mentioned are legit. When I got my Switch, I immediately ordered the Hori Split Pad. Then I threw the Joycons in a drawer and never looked at them again. A large capacity SD card is mandatory and is so cheap, I don't consider that a big deal.

Online subscription shit is just console bullshit that I won't pay on principle.

All the reasons you've mentioned have been sorted with a Steam Deck, and I haven't ever picked up my Switch from the day my Deck arrived.