this post was submitted on 25 May 2024
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[–] Everythingispenguins@lemmy.world 56 points 1 year ago (5 children)
[–] DaddleDew@lemmy.world 42 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

That's how insecure people coped back then. Lifted pickup trucks didn't exist yet.

[–] lastunusedusername2@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sad to think we never got armor nuts

[–] fleabomber@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

It's never too late to follow your dreams lastunusedusername2.

What about lifted wagons?

[–] PopcornPrincess@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Makes a fair maiden wonder 🫦

I am sure when the lovely princess strips her victorious knight of his armor she is going to be severely disappointed.

[–] missphant@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 year ago

I can't unsee the second one as a huge frenulum, it's a painful mental image.

[–] s1ndr0m3@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I've heard that it is not uncommon for men to get erections during or after battle due to adrenaline and increase in blood pressure. I can imagine that this might be very uncomfortable in a full suit of armor. Maybe these enlarged cad pieces were an attempt to address that.

[–] Everythingispenguins@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I am a little suspicious of that fact, but I don't know

If that was the case we would see exaggerating cod pieces in many more types of armor. Oh and a hole in the gambeson.

Really this was just the rolled sock of the day. It was all over mens fashion at the time.

[–] Waraugh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 year ago

You fight a dragon and get to the gorgeous princess that you risked your life for, the love of your life, you still got that armor on, you are going full mast, the fool is the one without armor to support it as they never truly believed they would defeat the dragon in the first place.

[–] GratefullyGodless@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It somehow feels very appropriate that you called them cad pieces.

[–] s1ndr0m3@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Ha. I didn't even notice. I think my phone autocorrected.

[–] BedSharkPal@lemmy.ca 0 points 1 year ago

Doesn't pass the smell test for me. Erections are the result of nitric oxide release relaxing vasculature to allow more blood to flow in no?

Like, isn't cocaine dick a thing?

[–] sevenism@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago
[–] ScruffyDucky@lemmy.world 37 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Medieval version of driving a big car :)

[–] HonkTonkWoman@lemm.ee 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Now I kinda want to know what constitutes medieval truck nuts…

[–] ScruffyDucky@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] HonkTonkWoman@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

Beautiful… just beautiful

[–] Everythingispenguins@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Na the real men have spikey ones

Spelling

[–] Bougie_Birdie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 27 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I've heard before that the generous bulges of this era have something to do with knights having rampant syphilis and needing more room to breathe.

Isn't history neat?

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Or they just had them made large so that their descendants think they were more endowed than they really were. Like paying an artist to make your portrait prettier

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

When did people start thinking big wangs were cool? Cuz I've seen some ancient Roman and Greek stuff that had the opposite view of large genitals with sentiments like "a man with a big penis is only good at having sex, and having sex is basically useless."

They would also stuff it with herbs to help alleviate the pain and catch anything that might cause stains.

[–] Fallenwout@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

Imagine hitting a dent in that bulge. Metal doesn't dent back out, I'll be a struggle to walk or strip your armor while it is crushed the entire time.

It is today's equivalent to catching it between your zipper.

[–] AlolanYoda@mander.xyz 46 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Easy. Just get an erection to force the metal back out.

I can't wait to find this comment in my history after having forgotten the context.

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 20 points 1 year ago

Or to see it as Google's "AI Overview" recommendation for knights and armorers.

[–] Peter1986C 1 points 1 year ago

Cod pieces are like toques. There is no flesh in there.

[–] HonkTonkWoman@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

…and now all I can think about is Warren, from There’s Something About Mary, chasing an armored knight Ted around yelling, “BANGERS & MASH!!! BANGERS AND MASH!”

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 22 points 1 year ago

Custom fit, I see

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It reminds me of this more recent fashion trend:

[–] massive_bereavement@kbin.social 13 points 1 year ago

That's because back then we had less poligons to go around.

Ah yes the era of bullet bras and sweater girls.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How many cods can they fit in there?

[–] SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That’s a pretty fucking personal question innit?

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

History confirms Henry VIII had huge scathing fragile ego problems. So this all tracks.

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 13 points 1 year ago

The theory I've heard is that he loved jousting and took a lot of head injuries. Post Concussion Syndrome explains a lot of his personality.

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

There's a set of Henry's armor hanging out at the Met as well. I was pleasantly surprised to bump into it en route to see the gaudy-as-hell frame they put on Washington Crossing the Delaware.

Since we can't meet Henry himself, meeting one of his suits of armor is the next best thing. It wasn't nearly as fat as the paintings would suggest.

[–] ripcord@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

He might have been fat later, maybe!

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

You're not wrong.

[–] RestrictedAccount@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago
[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Wot did you say?

I said, “codpiece face!”

Wot did you say?!

I said codpiece face!

Wot did you say?!

I said -

Look, don’t be evasive!

Oh, sod it

[–] HonkTonkWoman@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Sir Edmond of The Rusty Dongs: "Oi, fit bird, I wanna take you 'ome and give you a ride in me full kit until you come down with the rusty nail and Jack the Ripper."

[–] Luvs2Spuj@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Imagine being a regular foot soldier in this era, wearing some leather armour and maybe chain mail. Then this steel behemoth comes at you with his pals.

[–] pipows@lemmy.today 1 points 1 year ago

Leather armor was mostly not a thing. Afaik you'd be using a padded armor like gambeson or brigandine

Gambeson armor

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago