I love telling this story, but I'll warn beforehand it's explicit.

! so, one time I was getting a blow job from this dude who was sort of newly out as bi curious. So, he asked if he could suck me off because he'd never done it before. Anyway, when I came, he didn't pull off and decided he was going to swallow, and since he was still really new and nervous, I thought it would be hilarious if I said "no homo" when I came.

Unfortunately, he also thought that was hilarious, and laughed while swallowing. Ever seen milk come out of a kids nose in the cafeteria? That. But with spunk !<

Joke's on you. I've been slowly building up an immunity to iocaine powder for years.

The town I lived in about a decade ago had a closed down blockbuster that turned into a sex store, then that closed down, and a dude opened, I shit you not, a video/game rental place that lasted like a year. Then it closed down, too, and then a bunch of us used to go there and smoke weed and occasionally have sex inside, because they just didn't bother to lock the back door when they took away all the movies.

I don't know why I'm tell y'all this, it's just what I think of when I see the old blockbusters.

It is pronounced Captain BOUQUET!

I would go with something along the lines of: "it's called responsibility, Friend. I have my own finances to consider, and I am not responsible for the bookkeeping of this establishment. There is no drink minimum. Let the bar's business be theirs, mine be mine, and yours be your own."

This is hilarious, but is there supposed to be sound?

At least one!

I can't remember what movie it was, but we took the ball out of an old school computer mouse, the kind that's a solid steel ball covered in rubber. Then we all sat in a circle, and hucked it at each other's nuts. Hurt like a mother, and we each did it at least ten times, iirc, but that may just be me remembering it more extreme than it was, because it was horrid. Lol. We played many, many times during sleep overs and such. I think my balls we bruised for most of my 13th year. Lol.

If you have a gurdwara in your area, they often do free meals, almost like a restaurant. Baptist churches tend to have dinners on Wednesdays, and the Hare Krishnas are always good for some heavily dairy vegetarian foods. I wish more people knew this.

Good. Because it's fucking delicious and I don't care what the internet says. We all loved it in the 90s, and nothing has changed. It's still delicious, we just do less coke now.

I want to live in this neighborhood so badly. If anyone can get me into a rental in that neighborhood, I will fly the flag of Bajor!

Decided to make fried chicken. We rarely ever eat fried foods, and so I don't have fancy things like deep fryers. What I had was a large cast aluminum pot.

Filled it about half way with oil, made amazing delicious fried chicken.

I also don't have a stop top. Use a single eye burner. Needed the burner for something else, so sat the pot on the counter next to the sink.

Moved wrong, knocked the pot into the sink. Boiling oil goes down the drain.

Know what's at the bottom of the drain? A trap full of water.

Water met boiling oil as I matrix dodged our of the way and a geysey worthy of yellow stone came flying out of the sink, both sides, shooting boiling oil and steam everywhere. Covering the ceiling, the walls, the floor. Even the dog got hit (thank God for long, thick fur!). I had splatter burns on my legs, which was the only part of me not under the counter when it landed. It came up with so much force it threw the pot out of the sink.