[-] Lumelore@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 6 hours ago

This is literally me...

[-] Lumelore@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 1 day ago

I prefer this announcement instead. I like Nintendo games but hate the company for taking down emulators and sueing indie devs for a really dumb reason.

lol (image)

[-] Lumelore@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 1 day ago

Please persist. I know it's hard but those fuckers want us dead. Don't give them what they want. Our existence is resistance.

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titty rule (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

[Image Transcription]: Snoopy wearing a wizard hat making potions. Top text says "HOW TITTY SKITTLES IS MADE." Bottom text says "BOTTOM TEXT." In smaller font beneath bottom text it says in parentheses "i'm a bottom colon three."

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submitted 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) by Lumelore@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

So I'm wondering if I might have klinefelter's (XXY chromosomes) or if I'm just very receptive to estrogen because the effects of HRT happened to me way faster than I've heard other people say it happened to them.

I've seen charts like these and I am a bit dubious of them because my timeline doesn't match up at all.

image of chart

I don't know if my experience is actually normal or not, but when I started estrogen about a little over a year ago, it only took a few days for me to notice my skin being softer, and then literally the next day I woke up with breast buds and about 2 to 3 weeks later I had noticeable breasts that were big enough that it was difficult for me to boymode at work. I'm pretty sure I got to Tanner stage 3 in like half the time that's expected.

From what I've heard from others is that they didn't get breast buds until at least 3 months in and that made me question why mine happened so quickly.

I've also always been pathetically weak and it's also always been difficult for me to gain muscle. Which makes me think I had low testosterone even before I started spiro. I remember when I had my 3 month follow up, my t was at 89 ng/dL and I remember my doctor commenting that that was lower than he expected, although I have zero idea if that is actually lower than normal for 3 months on 100mg spiro.

I'm curious if any of you also experienced a similar timeline to me, or if your timeline fits the charts that I've seen. I know my timeline is quite fast and that it might be hard to believe (idk if my experience is normal or not), but I swear it is my genuine experience with HRT.

[-] Lumelore@lemmy.blahaj.zone 53 points 3 months ago

... I probably won't pass until I get FFS I might as well say I am a femboy in the meantime, this way I can pretend to be a man and still wear what I want?

I bet you look way more feminine than you think you do considering they think you are a femboy despite your current masc presentation.

Also, do your friends think femboys are cool? They might be more accepting than you think. It's entirely up to you if you want to come out to them, but like that other commenter said, you could temporarily identify as a femboy to ease into coming out as a trans woman.

[-] Lumelore@lemmy.blahaj.zone 38 points 3 months ago

It's not specifically of dead trans people, they meant of all trans people. The term deadname typically refers to the birth name of a trans person that they no longer use.

[-] Lumelore@lemmy.blahaj.zone 32 points 3 months ago

Yeah, I'm trans and I have an aunt with schizophrenia. After I came out she started behaving very strangely whenever I am around. For example, she doesn't call me by my name or my deadname, and instead makes up strange nonsense words that she calls me. Then she gets angry when someone tries to correct her. I only see her at holidays and I always dread going whenever she has been invited because she makes me very uncomfortable.

115
1 Year on HRT! (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

As of a few days ago, I am now 1 year on HRT! I typically don't like posting pictures of myself, but I also wanted to make a transition timeline and share my progress, so here it is lol.

transition-timeline-image

Estrogen is amazing. I finally feel like my body is mine and something that I need and want to take care of. Sometimes, I randomly think about my gender and being a woman and it makes me so happy, but overall I don't really think about my gender as frequently as I used to years ago.

I also started progesterone last month and luckily I am one of the people that respond well to it. My overall mood has significantly improved since I started it, and it also helps me sleep a lot better. I am now waking up early in the morning feeling energized which is something I have not experienced in a very long time lol.

I've also been working on my voice as well. I did make a post here about 6 months ago where I asked for feedback on my voice (which was really breathy and did not sound good). I think I have improved quite a bit since then. I'd really appreciate your feedback on it if you would like to critique it.

My voice training progress (youtube link)

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submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by Lumelore@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/blahaj@lemmy.blahaj.zone

First one was in a marching band, second one was in an IKEA float.

[-] Lumelore@lemmy.blahaj.zone 41 points 4 months ago

That happened to my sister unfortunately. She tried to transition her account and kept getting strange errors and minecraft support was very unhelpful. I ended up buying her a new account for her birthday, which I'm glad we can play together again, but it sucks that some strange bug took her account in the first place.

81

7

This is easiest done by sorting by Top of 1 hour, so there are only a few posts to scroll past.

When you get all the way to the bottom where there are no more posts to load, try scrolling down.

While you do that, any NSFW image that currently has a blur over it will have the blur squished vertically towards the center, allowing you to see the top and bottom of the image unblurred.

[-] Lumelore@lemmy.blahaj.zone 30 points 7 months ago

Two ideas I have:

  1. Find some other place that is primarily trans men and advertise this community there. I'm not sure where that would be though.

  2. Ask people to recommend the trans men they know this community.

13
submitted 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by Lumelore@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/linux4noobs@programming.dev

I am using kubuntu and recently my .desktop files no longer launch from my desktop. If I go to ~/desktop in dolphin I can double click the same files and they launch just fine from there.

When I do try to launch from desktop it just shows a blank file icon very briefly.

Only new thing I've done since they stopped working is install virt-manager and QEMU to set up a Windows vm.

I also tried creating a new user and the problem still persisted, which means it is not anything in my home directory.

I've tried googling but haven't found anyone with the same problem as me.

[-] Lumelore@lemmy.blahaj.zone 32 points 8 months ago

I'm a trans woman and I honestly think that I very well may end up having to hide myself in my parents attic or something.

[-] Lumelore@lemmy.blahaj.zone 39 points 8 months ago

I'm a trans woman and I started to express my self femininely when I was just a toddler. I grew up in a rural area where I was always told that I am a boy and that I will grow up into a man who will have a wife and many children. I genuinely had never heard of queer people until I was tween, when my peers started using gay as an insult. If I had been taught about queer people when I was a kid, I definitely would have realized that I am trans then, and I wish I had been because being raised as a boy when you are a girl is extremely traumatic.

People can be born with all sorts of strange and terrible conditions, but somehow there are people who think babies can't be born with a brain that is a different sex than their body. Either that or they think the body should take precedence over the brain which is insane considering only one of those is sapient.

31
Getting an Internship? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

I'm currently studying CS and I'll get my bachelor's degree next year. I've been searching for remote SWE internships for months now and have not had any luck. I even made a project to put on my resume and it's still just rejection email after rejection email. Maybe I need more projects? What tips do you have for getting an Internship?

I really don't want to go back to my previous job cause working with old people in rural America as a minority is literally hell. I think I might just go into omega debt instead lol.

75
Memories (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by Lumelore@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

Was looking through an old hard drive today and I found some old pictures of me from before I transitioned. I only have a few of them because I didn't like taking pictures of myself back then (hmm, I wonder why? /s). I thought about deleting them because I don't like how I looked back then, but in a weird way they also made me happy. I think it is because they serve as a reminder as to how far I have come in the four years since I realized that I am trans. Comparing them with current pictures of myself, it is very obvious that I am much happier now.

I also found some old picrews that I made of myself shorty after I realized that I am trans. These made me really happy for multiple reasons. One is that they brought back a lot of memories. The other is helped me figure something out. I've been trying to figure out exactly when I had the realization and the best I had beforehand was sometime in late 2019, but those pictures are dated October 28th which makes them the earliest evidence of me being trans that I have. I made like thirty of them but here are two of them that I like.

Past me would be so happy to know that I actually look like this now:

This is an image that I think I used to come out to a few people. It's hard to see, but I decided to add some estradiol to my mouth:

Anyways, I just felt like sharing. I'm curious if anyone else also used picrew at first to explore their gender. Also if you have any transition related stories you feel like sharing, I'd love to read those too.

134
egg_irl (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by Lumelore@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/egg_irl@lemmy.blahaj.zone

I'm not an egg anymore, but I found this meme I made several years ago when looking through an old hard drive and wanted to put it on Lemmy.

Image description: Top text says "Me: 100% totally cis male." Bottom text says "Also me: A girl with girl stuff and girl hair and girl clothes." The bottom part is actually an image of a Minecraft skin that is posted on Planet Minecraft.

5

35

So for the past few months, usually near the beginning of the month, I will have a few days where I am super depressed and emotional. Today is one of those days. It started off with me waking up crying at 2 am for no reason and I was literally sobbing for 2 hours before I was able to fall back asleep. Then I waking up, I felt super depressed. I have not felt this much depression since I started taking an anti-depresant 5 years ago. I hardly ate anything today and I pretty much just layed around. I tried working out for an hour, and even that couldn't make me happy. I am assuming that this is going to happen again next month, and idk what to do cause it is super debilitating. Asides from these few days, I am very happy otherwise. I have been on hrt for 5 months now, I'm hoping maybe prog will help with it once I'm able to get it. I don't know how to manage it until then since my usual coping mechanism isn't working and I also don't know if prog will even solve it in the first place.

[-] Lumelore@lemmy.blahaj.zone 28 points 1 year ago

Propaganda

What they said is a line from a song we are made to sing as children. They don't really teach us about life in other countries, we have to do that ourselves if we happen to be curious.

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Lumelore

joined 1 year ago