Brother, it sounds like you are depressed. Maybe it's job related, maybe it's not. A few things to do are:
- Talk to your medication provider about these symptoms and consider medication specifically for depression.
- Talk Therapy. Pills are good, talk therapy is approximately ::checks notes:: 10,000 times better. 2.1. Find a therapist that is a good fit. I've had good therapists over the years, and I have had bad therapists. My current therapist is amazing and a the reason why I didn't die by suicide in January.
- Don't 'should yourself'. Avoid using that word to describe anything, ever. You don't have to do or enjoy anything right now, and you can't feel bad for suffering from (probably) depression. It's a mental illness. You didn't do anything wrong and you are certainly not to blame.
That information is lost to pre-history, but probably either Ug or Urg. Those guys were like the Wright Brothers of cave shit.