In my brain, this is what I see going on:

If you can get a UI set up, like Kodi or something, I liked using my Flirc receiver on my htpc. You can use any IR remote, and completely map the buttons to functions. It was sweet.

I'll, obviously, watch it but...

That's all they care about.

That TV in the background is looking mighty out of square

And for the OG text source: https://writing-prompt-s.tumblr.com/post/172811507450/threefeline-corancoranthemagicalman

My wife have me the eyeroll of approval. Two thumbs up.

I can tell you that it works fine using T-Mobile. It picks up the same bands as my LG V60 (with 5g turned off). I can't speak about any other carrier, though.

Could be a wide body

Where did you buy your phone? What kind of phone is it?

10 x Computer Case Thumbscrews (6-32 Thread) PC Computer Case Fastener Thumb Screws,for Cover/Power Supply/PCI Slots/Hard Drives https://a.co/d/hm14iKl

Yes

Now it's just the Neighbor of the Beast