heard

Chronic cluster headache sufferer here. To sum up, I’ve been: Shot, stabbed, shot a second time, broke 7 bones in various appendages, hit with a baseball bat, hit by a car, multiple teeth issues, and migraine headaches, sprinkled for fun.

Basically, I took steve-o’s motto and ran with it (your body is a ride, ride it until the wheels fall off).

None of this comes close to the lightest cluster headache I’ve had. The sheer panic, the knowledge of what’s about to happen, the inescapable amount of pain I know is coming… Fuck CH.

We didn’t deserve Robin Williams.

I was in a deep dark place, his standups were the only thing that pulled me out of the void. Exceptional human, the only celebrity loss I felt personally.

My prayers are heard. I hope you burn in the lowest circles of hell, Adobe.

No reasons to be concerned, citizen. The former head of the largest surveillance agency in the world just joined as a C-level member to the largest data scraping company in the world

Whoops, forgot to add more bloat

• Microsoft, probably

Oh, if they PROMISE.

Fuck Adobe. I’ll pirate PS and AI until I die. Greedy fucking pigboys.

Imagine being in the Victorian Era and reading a sci-fi novel on how daily life in the future includes dodging nigerian princes, offering you millions of dollars, and penis enlargement offers.

Well, I vaguely remember watching a documentary about it. They literally start rotting while being alive. Somehow, I don’t need to be either a nutritionist, nor a doctor to assume that flavour, texture, and safe-to-consume are all gonna be a no-no.

Edit: Found a video about it:

https://piped.video/watch?v=C5AjppfOntc

I can’t believe this. I never thought there is a second person who has lived through the need to learn Tekken.

Story time! Back in ‘16, I used to work in a coworking space. Every Friday night there was a “retro” tournament, where one of the guys that works for the coworking space popped an old PS2, put on Tekken 3, and we would have a serious AF tournament with bets, prizes and the coveted Slack title “Undisputed Tekken 3 champion”. Fuck did I want that flair bad. The current holder was this really weasly looking guy, who was sorta creepy. Gave shoulder rubs to all his female coworkers kinda type, y’know?

I had to beat him.

Sadly, I was pretty trash. Outside of doing a few basic moves with Brian, there was nothing I could do. Forshadowing, for everyone that knows how to play Tekken 3, later I realised he was an Eddy cheeser button masher. He whooped my ass, I couldn’t come near him at all.

First thing I did when I got home was to check ebay’s listings for a PS2 and Tekken 3. I decided on a main, Paul Phoenix, and picked Xiaoyu as well. I played for hours upon hours, days, weeks. I watched videos of the best tekken players to figure out the timing of juggle combos. I invested a stupid amount of time to really improve my Tekken skills. Not a pro-level for sure, but the more I played and watched videos, the more I realised that this guy sucks, and he’s just a cheeser.

I still participated in the weekly tournaments playing Brian, weakly like, to not reveal my true self until I was ready.

One day, I felt it’s time. We did a best of 3. I destroyed him, and then the announcer on the tv screen said “Perfect”. Literally no one cared, but my heart was beating like CRAZY. The flair was mine.

WHY ARE YOU NOT LISTENING SIR

WHY DID YOU REDEEM SIR