[-] grady77@kbin.social 6 points 1 year ago

Yes yes yes yes yes.

I’m a 32 yr old male with ADHD, chronic pain, past trauma, sleep issues, low testosterone, and haven’t had much stability in my life for the last 5 years. I don’t think I could have gotten through it without therapy. A good therapist will help you work through your thoughts and emotions and feelings and give you the tools to be able to function and get through those times when you are overwhelmed.

Please feel from to reach out if you want to talk more. I’ve been where you are with deciding what to do and would love to help.

In the mean time I have a couple books I would recommend that really changed my perspective.

Man’s Search for Meaning
https://www.amazon.com/Mans-Search-Meaning-Viktor-Frankl-ebook/dp/B009U9S6FI
Extremely powerful, written about the human experience from a survivor of Auschwitz.

The Untethered Soul
https://www.amazon.com/Untethered-Soul-Journey-Beyond-Yourself/dp/1572245379
Probably opened my eyes more than any other book and helped me immensely with the day to day stuff.

Iron John
https://www.amazon.com/Iron-John-Book-about-Men/dp/0306824264
(Not sure of your gender) This book is about what it is to grow into a man. Not a manly man or traditional man or anything like that, but a real man who embraces his masculinity and femininity. Talks about how we need something more than our parents to grow. I think it’s still a amazing read no matter what gender you are because it does help make sense of why so many men are the way that they are.

[-] grady77@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago

To me how you are talking about this is kind of exactly my point. The “normie” you are describing just sounds like an asshole and I think that’s the negative connotation and exclusion I’m talking about.

What would you categorize me as? I surf, skate, lift weights, travel, was in a fraternity at a major university, have a beautiful wife and live in suburbia in California close to the beach, started my career in finance and sales (not anymore though). On the flip side, I have ADHD, I have a masters in pharmaceutical sciences, I work with a team of software engineers, I game, tinker with my PC, I read scientific journals on particle physics and a ton of sci-fi and fantasy, I read tech blogs every day, I love the fediverse, etc.

See what I’m getting at? Like it is totally creating an unnecessary and unhelpful division in my eyes.

[-] grady77@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago

Definitely elements of this resonate for me, but that’s why I think it’s just silly. They are a needless way of creating division where there doesn’t need to be.

[-] grady77@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago

This makes a lot of sense! And I would argue if you just met me you would 1000% put me in the normie category. Buuut if you got to know me you would come to find out I’m a goofy uber nerd who works with a bunch of software engineers and loves technology and gaming and reading scientific journals on particle physics.

I quite frankly don’t want to be in either group because the entire concept of normie vs not normie is kind of silly in my opinion.

[-] grady77@kbin.social 6 points 1 year ago

I mean not get too far down that rabbit hole, but I would argue that we are all human beings first and we all belong to many different groups, not just one.

And I think you’re missing my point.

[-] grady77@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago

Hmm. I think you’re right to an extent. I think the gatekeeping you’re talking about should come from the server level and block anything from meta or from other servers with those kinds of people.

Using the word “normie” can be off putting to people we do want on this platform which is kind of my point.

[-] grady77@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago

Yes, that is exactly how I feel! It honestly makes me kind of sad because I truly love how awesome of a space a lot of these communities are and I think people don’t realize the effect that words and attitudes like that have on the greater experience and vibe.

[-] grady77@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago

Love everything about this haha

[-] grady77@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago

Right that’s the vibe I get too!

[-] grady77@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago

I have definitely seen it used outside of that. Again, I think the effects are largely unintentional but from an outsider looking in could be very off putting.

[-] grady77@kbin.social 18 points 1 year ago

I guess that’s something I didn’t consider. I kind of feel like that is still creating an us vs them mentality though…

161

Let me preface by saying, I would love to hear counter points and am fully open to the fact that I could be wrong and totally out of touch. I just want to have some dialogue around something that’s been bothering me in the fediverse.

More and more often I keep hearing people refer to “normies”. I think by referring to other people as “normies”, whether you intend to or not, you inadvertently gatekeep and create an exclusive environment rather than an inclusive one in the fediverse.

If I was not that familiar with the fediverse and decided to check it out and the first thing I read was a comment about “normies”, I would quite honestly be very put off. It totally has a negative connotation and doesn’t even encapsulate any one group. I just read a comment about someone grouping a racist uncle and funny friend into the same category of normie because they aren’t up to date on the fediverse or super tech savvy or whatever.

I don’t want to see any Meta bs in the fediverse. I barely want to see half of the stuff from Reddit in the fediverse. I don’t want to see the same echo chamber I do everywhere else.

I do want to see more users and more perspectives and a larger user base though. I want to see kindness and compassion. I want to talk to people about topics they are interested in. I want to have relevant discussions without it dissolving into some commentary on some unrelated hot topic thing.

I think calling people normies creates a more toxic, exclusive place which I personally came here to avoid.

Just my two cents! I know for most people using the term it isn’t meant to be malicious, but I think it comes off that way.

Love to hear all of your thoughts.

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grady77

joined 1 year ago