Image description: 1 Waiter: Any room for dessert Mr. Banner?
2 Bruce Banner: I really wanted some but I'm way too full. This makes me so mad.
3 Bruce turns into the hulk
4 Hulk: I'll have the tiramisu.

(Originally published on mstdn.social: 2024-03-06) - Click the Fedi-Link to visit.

Image description: 1 Person with little girl rings bell: Every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings.
2 Angel in heaven: My wings! This is the best day ever!
3 Girl takes bell and furiously rings it: I love you angel!
4 Angel, with dozens of wings protruding out of his body: The pain!

(Originally published on mstdn.social: 2024-02-25)

Tony Hawk: I'd like to turn myself in for murder.

Cop: Are you Tony Hawk?

Tony Hawk: Yes.

Cop: If you're Tony Hawk where's your skateboard?

Tony Hawk, holding up a blood-soaked skateboard: It dug right into his skull. I am a monster

Cop: You look a little old to be Tony Hawk

(Originally published on mstdn.social: 2024-01-23)

Image transcription: In 2019 J. K. Rowling announced that Hagrid had a foot fetish.

(Originally published earlier today on mstdn.social)

That's, so interesting.

Image transcription: In the English language, you can use a comma, anywhere, in a sentence, and it, will still be, grammatically, correct,.

(Originally published a few hours ago on mstdn)

I once slept for 11 hours and when I woke up my cats looked extremely disappointed that they wouldn't get to devour me.

Image transcription: Studies have shown that cats would eat their owners if they slept for 12 hours straight.

(Originally published a few hours ago on mstdn)

I don't think most people understand how big of a deal it is that Tracy Chapman performed Fast Car at the Grammys. She wrote that song in 1988. Cars were MUCH slower back then. So when she got up on that stage, everyone watching thought "Uh oh, does she even know what a fast car is anymore?" But Tracy knocked it out of the park. She showed the world that 36 years later she can still sing about faster cars than we can even imagine.

(Originally published a few hours ago on mstdn)

Image transcription: 98% of UFO sightings have turned out to be bounce castles that got carried away by the wind.

(Originally published a few hours ago on mstdn)

Image transcription: Daniel Radcliffe has pledged to only accept acting roles that will confuse and upset Harry Potter fans.

(Originally published a few hours ago on mstdn)

That's terrifying.

Image transcription: Sleep paralysis occurs when the bacteria living in your brain gain temporary control over your motor functions.

(Originally published a few hours ago on mstdn)

That's a cool feature.

Image transcription: If you swipe up with two fingers on someone’s Tinder profile it will reveal if they have a criminal record.

(Originally published on mstdn: 2024-02-04)

Image transcription: The most expensive pizza in the world costs $20,000. It is topped with pepperoni, sausage and a baseball that has been autographed by Babe Ruth.

(Originally published on mstdn.social: 2024-01-12)