I use mine sometimes. But I would never park my car and leave the sunroof open.

Yeah that's some serious time dilation!

I have to care about mine. If I cause a security breach, I can be sent to prison.

This is the real problem.

1800 gang

Would anyone believe him anyway?

An upsetting amount of people would believe him, unfortunately.

The gas giants in our solar system are not closer to the sun than Earth is. You are simply wrong about that.