[-] throwaway@discuss.online 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

No one, including you, wants to date someone that doesn’t make them feel good and add to their lives in a positive and joyful way - in what world does ‘you’re hotter than me therefore I want you as a possession I can have sex with’ make someone feel any of those things?

What I meant was I don't make it obvious not because I want to make them feel unloved or something but to prevent making them feel uncomfortable. I talk and treat everyone like we're just friends (because for the most part we just are). If the woman from her end shows she's interested in me than I try and go along with it.

But I am here to learn, so could you then please tell me how do you properly flirt with someone then?

[-] throwaway@discuss.online 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

just feels he should own one and probably wants regular sex (on his terms only)

I never, ever said nor implied this. English is not my first language, so maybe I didn't phrase it all that well. I rarely ever even flirt with women because I'm afraid it will make them uncomfortable. I, as any other person, seek companionship. I know it sounds shallow to put emphasis on looks. But no matter which way I shake it it is an important factor to me. Otherwise it just feels like another friendship to me. I can't change myself in that regard. And the results speak for themselves. So here I am seeking help to at least not feel bitter about it.

[-] throwaway@discuss.online 4 points 2 weeks ago

I think they mean to ask for honest feedback, it’s quite possible your lack of success is linked to the mindset you have.

Oh I see. That's actually not a bad idea. I'll try and ask them.

[-] throwaway@discuss.online 3 points 2 weeks ago

How about Stancels? We are celibate due to our standards?

[-] throwaway@discuss.online 4 points 2 weeks ago

Have you considered that it’s the way you interact with whoever you’re interested in?

Are you nervous, self-conscious, whatever?

I honestly have never thought of it in great detail. But where would I be able to get feedback on this?

[-] throwaway@discuss.online 15 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Do you think you are sort of batting out of your league looks-wise?

Yes, definitely.

is there anything else that makes you think you are not physically attractive?

My arms and legs are particularly skinny, like Ballerina level skinny.

May I ask how old you are?

I am 24 years old

You are outgoing and social, perhaps try practicing flirting?

I find flirting difficult. Because I never want to make it obvious and I don't know if that's a good thing or not.

[-] throwaway@discuss.online 4 points 2 weeks ago

I already do, actually. But I was wondering whether or not if I should drop it after this reply. But I think I'll continue anyway.

[-] throwaway@discuss.online 2 points 2 weeks ago

I just don't feel motivated to date people I do not find physically attractive. Even if they do have a very nice or interesting personality, I would rather then just be friends with them. So yes, I think I would in fact rather stay single.

[-] throwaway@discuss.online 73 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

be happy to be alone

That was a very moving story. I going to try this. Hell or high water I will try. Not for the possible prospects but for me. Thank you for sharing!

Also:

¯⁠\⁠(⁠◉⁠‿⁠◉⁠)⁠/⁠¯ ಠ⁠ಗ⁠ಠ

I like these.

[-] throwaway@discuss.online 17 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Did you even read my post? I am bitter about the fact I can't find a partner, yes. That's nobody's fault. I perfectly understand and accept as to why. But yes I can still be bend out of shape about my loneliness.

[-] throwaway@discuss.online 9 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Be it my weight, face, or my personality, it actually hardly matters. Bottom line: There is an (innerly or outerly) ugly person who only wants to date attractive people, and by that they cannot get a partner. If that's too much of a stretch for you, then there is no point explaining.

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submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by throwaway@discuss.online to c/nostupidquestions@lemmy.world

I have given up trying to find a girlfriend. Even though, I am outgoing, have hobbies (I dance, which is actually filled with women), go to parties, talk to plenty of women. But I keep hearing the same thing over and over again: "I am just not so into skinny guys."

I think this is fair from the woman's perspective. I for one am only motivated to date attractive women. So, them not wanting to settle for less actually makes very good sense to me. There is absolutely no hate or bitterness regarding that. Fuck all that: 'all women are whores'-noise.

That being said, I think I should just consider myself celibate by virtue of my own standards. But now bitterness is starting to take hold of me. Bitterness about my life and to me as a person. As I said I am very outgoing and don't want to become the cynical asshole around my friends.

So how do I stop this?

Edit: I go to the gym on a regular basis.

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throwaway

joined 2 weeks ago