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this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2024
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A friend persuaded me to go on a date with a girl I wasn't particularly into. We went for a meal, then she wanted to go clubbing. But I'm not into that either, so she broke down in tears. I was pretty sure I hadn't said anything that bad, but then the story came out: her ex-partner had the same first name and job as me, and the meal and clubbing were his favourite things, but he'd been found dead in another country with his common law wife and kids, and the similarity to me was effectively his coming back from the dead to be with her again.
No there wasn't a second date. I haven't seen her since either. Neither have I taken dating advice off that friend since, although we are still friends.
I don't think there's any circumstance where "replacing" a dead loved one with someone similar would ever end well. Way too many expectations, and context the date would be unaware of.