193
submitted 2 months ago by merari42@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] 11111one11111@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I went to a temp agency one time and went through the enrollment/placement tests. I told them up front I was just looking for competitive offers to bring to my 5 year review to ask current employer to match. They were cool with it after i told them I would be back if employer doesnt match.

So I'm taking the test and was blown away at the test questions. I'm reading them outloud to the agents at their desks asking them which ones people actually respond honestly to. They start telling me hilarious stories of people theyve had fail the test.

They eventually told me they have had at least one person at some time answer every question with the very honest but very damning wrong answer. They said none of the people they told me about were even the assholes intentionally failing the test just to show proof they applied. They were people being waaaay too fuckin honest about their liberal drug use.

Some of the more memorable questions:

In the last 8hrs how many times have you smoked meth?

A. 0 times

B. 1-4 times

C. 5-10 times

D. 10 or more

Have you ever smoked crack cocaine while on the clock?

A. Yes

B. No

C. I don't know

D. Maybe

Would you ever smoke crack while on the clock?

A. Yes

B. No

C. I don't know

D. Maybe

How many alcohol beverages do you have on your lunch break?

A. 0 drinks

B. 1-4 drinks

C. 5-10 drinks

D. 10 or more drinks

How many alcohol beverages did you have today before this interview?

A. 0 drinks

B. 1-4 drinks

C. 5-10 drinks

D. 10 or more drinks

Describe your performance at work while high on alcohol or narcotics compared to your performance at work while not high on alcohol or narcotics.

A. Have never worked high on alcohol or narcotics.

B. I perform worse while working high on alcohol or narcotics than working not high on alcohol or narcotics.

C. I perform the same while working high on alcohol or narcotics than working not high on alcohol or narcotics.

D. I perform better while working high on alcohol or narcotics than working not high on alcohol or narcotics.

Edit for formatting and grammar.

[-] TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee 5 points 2 months ago

Holy shit that's amazing. honestly what surprised me most is that you were upfront about the competitive offer thing and tney were cool with it

[-] catbum@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Right?! Especially if it was an off-the-cuff agreement. But if I had a few minutes to think it over, I would buy that anyone serious enough to get verifiable competitive offers using a third party would be serious enough to come back for those better offers if the current employer doesn't bite. (This is assuming you can't arrange new employment without the temp agency's involvement for whatever contractual reason. Not sure how they typically work.)

[-] 11111one11111@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

It's rural town USA. The company I was pressing to match the competitive offer was actually my own family's manufacturing corporation. The temp agency knew exactly who I was when they saw my last name. They had good fun joking about how they knew my family doesn't pay their employees enough but having the owner's son threatening to quit for better pay really solidified it as a good ole hardyharhar to them. I knew it. They knew it. Plus we have done a ton of business with them over the years filling entry level temp to perm positions, so the whole thing was really super laid back.

[-] TheKMAP@lemmynsfw.com 2 points 2 months ago
this post was submitted on 27 Sep 2024
193 points (96.6% liked)

Ask Lemmy

27240 readers
2415 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS