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As the title says. My mom was always nagging, neurotic, overbearing, and domineering. She needed to control every aspect of my lives, to the point when I was a teen and still felt dependent and handicapped. She always imposed her anxieties and worries into me, it’s just so draining. She only feels comfortable when I leave the house for school. If I leave for any other reason, she seems exasperated. I prefer living in her house over living alone because I don’t have the means to do the latter. She gets mad that I don’t know how to drive and says she wants to teach me, but then refuses to teach me how. Just the other day, my brother who is in his late 20s, said he wanted to take a taxi to his place after a family gathering, and she just flipped out on him. She said “we all arrive here together and we all leave here together.” She just ruined the night with her screaming. That’s how fucked up she is. My grown brother, who has his own place, still has to give my mom control over the most trivial aspects of his life. That’s how deep our fear of her is. I can go on, and I’m willing to give more specific details if asked. I blame my weak father and deranged mother for a lot of the flaws I have now. It feels like I’m dealing with a nagging monster who never dies, and that kills me to say because I do love her (despite hating her) and will cry like a removed when she dies. However, I’m just at the point where I just want her to shut the fuck up, and stick to doing meals and laundry. Can anyone else relate? My life is already not perfect and a nagging monster by my side doesn’t help. It’s like she wants to infuse our egos together.

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[-] johannes@lemmy.jhjacobs.nl 24 points 3 weeks ago

One thing i have to comment on, blame is much like an excuse. I haven't had a great childhood myself. Both my parents where mentally challenged, ive been taking care of them since i was 12. But i don't blame them. It is what it is, and now i move on. I feel blame is another way of saying "i dont have to change because its their fault"

Mind you, i blamed my parents for a while.. But in the end, they are just a product of their upbringing. And i choose to not be. I choose to make my own choices, and be responsible for my own life.

I hope you can get past the blame part, and start focussing on what is to come, not that which was. Focus on your "flaws" and change them.

Good luck!

[-] rikudou 1 points 3 weeks ago

That's utter garbage. If someone constantly ruins your life, you should blame that person.

Sure, if you don't actually do anything about your situation, blaming them doesn't really help anything and you won't feel better. But blaming the person who fucks your life up is nothing you should be ashamed of.

On the other hand, blaming yourself for what other people did seems crazy.

this post was submitted on 29 Nov 2024
35 points (84.3% liked)

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