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submitted 2 weeks ago by NineMileTower@lemmy.world to c/casualconversation@lemm.ee

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On December 24th, 2008 I was almost 21 and drinking wine at my Grandma's house with my family. We were having a good time. I don't really talk to that side of the family anymore though. I got a phone call from my best friend, Kyle. I joking let my uncle answer. Kyle asked to talk to me. He sounded angry.

The next few words he said were like a a fucking nuclear bomb that seared my fucking brain for life. He said, "NineMileTower, Steve died (in Iraq). A bridge gave out, his hummer flipped, and he drowned."

That was in 2008. I'm 37 now. I have two beautiful girls and an amazing wife. I think of Steve all the time. I ask myself, "Why do I deserve these amazing kids, wife and life, and he had to die?"

I fucking hate Christmas. I hate the stupid music. I hate fake bullshit decorations. I hate that I'm supposed to pretend that every Christmas it doesn't fucking kill me that he isn't here. I'm here enjoying my kids and their holiday and he's dead.

I fucking hate Christmas.

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[-] Limfjorden@feddit.dk 16 points 2 weeks ago

Having the courage to talk about your own feelings is a sign of strength. Letting others control your life is weak.

[-] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

I have definitely regretted talking openly about my feelings with a partner. It damaged the relationship because she was frustrated and not very understanding.

[-] Limfjorden@feddit.dk 4 points 2 weeks ago

I don' thind it matters who you talk to. I think that if noone in your life wants to listen or talk about how you feel, then you should get some new people in your life who will.