I really hope he just dies. And not from a shooter. I don't want his base to have him as a martyr. I want him to have a clogged artery, or a heart attack, and just his body gives out.

Have you had the displeasure of knowing QAnon cultists? There's very little doubt in my mind that they would do anything but delude themselves into thinking that Ding-dong Donald is still alive. I even have the start of a bingo list prepared for what they might claim actually happened:

• Liberal media and the next Democrat candidate are lying and trying to manipulate voters for the next election.
• Vance is attempting a coup by lying about The President's health.
• Trump faked his death because (insert scapegoat demographic) were onto him for trying to bust their (insert scapegoat topic).
• Trump is actually in a presidential safehouse for his protection because "the elites" want him dead for thwarting their plans to ruin America with DEI and the Woke Mind Virus™.
• At Trump's request, the FBI released a fake obituary and made Vance the face so Trump could spend more time fixing America and less time on press conferences.