this post was submitted on 24 Feb 2025
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I delivered in Wisconsin during the winter. Walked up some dude's unsalted, fully iced walkway and my feet went out from under me and the pizza bag went up in the air. By some miracle, I landed on my feet and the bag landed in my hands. Asshole didn't tip. I hope all the cheese was stuck to the top of the box.
I thought I knew preparedness and the general Boy Scout Way up until I started making a living as a delivery driver. I started keeping my Microspikes in my car precisely for this purpose. And a lot of other junk as well.
One of my favorite customer interactions (among many, and I am using "favorite" in the same way that Dwarf Fortress players use the word "Fun") was during one particularly nasty blizzard during which a statewide state of emergency had been declared, I had a customer call and the following exchange happned:
"Yeah, I heard they lockin' people up for being out on the road, so I need y'all to bring me [pizza] so I don't get locked up."
"So... You're telling me it's okay with you if one of my drivers gets 'locked up' instead?"
They hung up on me. (And for the record, no one was getting "locked up." If the cops had to come yank your dumb ass out of a ditch, however, you were probably getting a fat ticket.)