this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2025
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So I (18NB, 18MTF) started dating this really nice girl (17F) who I’ve known at my school for a while.

I told everyone I know about her, I like her, she likes me. However, I’m still not completely over Karl (even though he’s been kind of an ass TBH since he started being friends with his ex.)

I told her if I couldn’t move on, I would have to break up with her and couldn’t go out with her if I had a crush on someone else.

I’m aware I told her about all these things, like going to a restaurant, having fun at the arcade, kissing her, etc, but now I’m having second thoughts and I guess she’s upset.

The last time we talked, she asked me about our relationship and I told her to stop talking about it. She did, I guess, but won’t talk at all now.

Update: A new message reads “I really hope this will work out. I love you ❤️. Also, please know that if it doesn’t, I won’t talk for a while, but it’s not because I’m mad at you. I just need to process things, especially with my depression and all.”

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[–] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 8 points 3 days ago

Everything I said still applies. Feelings are feelings. You cannot choose how you feel. What matters is if you act on them.