this post was submitted on 19 Mar 2025
555 points (99.1% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

29965 readers
3749 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] pimento64@sopuli.xyz 37 points 1 day ago (3 children)

It's all part of the grindset.

4:00 AM: wake up
4:01 AM: ice cold shower. Use Lava soap on your entire body. Does it hurt? Good.
4:06 AM: breakfast. Blend 6 raw egg yolks, 1L scoop of Mazuri Primate Growth & Repro gorilla feed, one can of Monster Ultra Zero, and 4x the recommended creatine for your weight
4:09 AM: sprint around your house punching walls and letting out defeating kiai
4:29 AM: inject steroids
4:30 AM: lift. 120 sets of two half-reps back, arms, chest.
5:30 AM: rest 5:30:30 AM: that's enough rest, soy boy. Legs and squats, 120 sets of two half-reps.
6:00 AM: get dressed in a Big Dogs T-shirt and jorts.
6:02 AM: leave for work. On foot. In the street. Barefoot. Take a pocket full of sparkplugs and smash the windows of every car that gets within arm's length.
6:45 AM: arrive at office. Visit every break room and throw away any donuts or cakes you find. Inspect lunches.
7:00 AM: clock in
7:01 AM: do email. Berate everyone you come into contact with. If they haven't made any mistakes, bring up old ones. Assert your dominance.
7:10 AM: go AWOL with an autoclicker running and hit the gym
7:11 AM: inject steroids
7:12 AM: start deadlifting. If you're not comfortable with the weight, lift it till you are. If you're comfortable with your weight, add more. Don't be a fucking pussy. Make sure to throw the weight at the floor every time, don't just drop it like a beta.
1:25 PM: leave gym. Scream as loud as you can directly into a cardio bunny's ear on the way out.
1:30 PM: lunch. Boiled chicken with broccoli and oatmeal. You don't eat rice anymore. Add one full bottle of Carolina reaper sauce. If you don't use the whole bottle, put the leftovers in your fucking purse.
1:35 PM: start shitting to expel breakfast. I didn't say go be an obedient little boy who meekly goes poopy in the toilet like society commands, be a fucking man and shit where you please without warning.
1:40 PM: use a coworker's desk phone to call in a bomb threat to a random police station.
1:42 PM: push-ups to failure.
2:00 PM: get money. Close deals and make decisions.
3:45 PM: leave early. Tell the receptionist to clock you out later or you'll piss in her car's air intake again.
3:46 PM: piss in her car's air intake anyway
3:47 PM: inject steroids
3:48 PM: start listening to the Bible in Georgian in your left ear and Wagner in your night ear, and hit the gym
3:50 PM: nude squats. Fart boisterously.
4:50 PM: leave for home.
5:35 PM: arrive home and enter through the highest window. Free climb your house to get there.
5:36 PM: start gooning
3:55 AM: go to sleep

[–] red_bull_of_juarez@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I see you're taking it slow. There are 5 minutes of break time where you could inject steroids while consuming creatine.

[–] pimento64@sopuli.xyz 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Needless to say, any gap time is spent jelqing and mewing while spamming racism online with your other hand.

[–] rehydrate5503@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Have you considered perineum sunning to tweak your T levels? Could slot it in at 2:00 and do it simultaneously while closing deals.

load more comments (1 replies)