this post was submitted on 25 Mar 2025
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I've been in a few situations where I need substantial help from strangers, and some have offered to help (most haven't followed through) but I just can't do it.

For example someone offered to help me move and I just feel super uncomfortable about it to the point where I'd rather risk something bad happening to me. Like I feel super awkward and uncomfortable accepting huge favours from strangers

Someone even offered a place to stay for me with my pets but I can't accept it cause I feel way too awkward and like I owe them or something, like I have a huge fear and anxiety about it

Like I just feel like a disgusting parasite wasting their time and energy and it's also humiliating

Is that normal?

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[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 46 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It's the alienation of modern living. Helping and getting help from perfect strangers is the most natural thing in the world for humans. We get a buzz off the altruism. They say the kindest thing you can do for someone is to accept their help.

In this modern society we've created there's this artificial sense that there's no social fabric, only stranger danger and it's bullshit. 97% of everyone is basically a good person being buffeted about by situational factors, so maybe it's hard to see that they're good. Just hard enough that you're never sure if you're seeing one of those 1 in 40 people who happen to be a pure monster.

The scariest threat is an ambiguous one, so it's not hard to see why we're like this - but it's much better for you and society if you can find a way to trust and lend a hand with each other. Hell, some of them will even tell you their name and remember you next time. Sooner or later, you've made a friend.

There's always the rare actually horrible person out there to be aware of, but most of us are basically fine I think.

[–] Aneb@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Sure 97% of people are nice to your face and like helping out. But also 34% of them (in America) voted for a xenophobic dictator in chief. And 33% of Americans didn't even care enough to vote to stop a genocidal cheese puff from dismantling core government institutions. So sure 97% of people are perfectly nice to your face and turn around and vote for the extinction of minority people

You're not wrong. I didn't have a good solution for this, so about 4 years ago I emigrated.

Mind you, the UK is no slouch in the xenophobia department, but some extra distance between my family and the broligarchy has done us good.