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Suggestions for men to develop proper masculinity (lemmy.zip)

submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by confuser@lemmy.zip to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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toxic masculinity, tons of people aware of the bad things but most people think its taboo for men to think about their social reformation.

Some of my more well versed lady friends basically describe it like "the women can't do all the social reformation, men gotta do their part too"

Would be nice to make this thread into a list of resources, like groups, YouTube channels, websites, books, whatever.

It would be very helpful to define these things for people too I think, I don't think there is a name for men's social revolution yet, or at least one that is well known.

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[–] confuser@lemmy.zip 3 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

The point isn't about moving the goalpost so you win, it is meeting up with a better standard.

[–] undrwater@lemmy.world 7 points 6 hours ago

I'm 59 now, and a cancer survivor. Also a man.

I look back to the me in my twenties, and think what an ass I was. Not as a man, but as a human.

The positive aspect? I'm not that ass anymore, and my hope is in another ten years I'll see the current me as an ass.

Introspection and personal growth as a human. Sex or gender agnostic.

[–] Goldholz@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

The problem in your logic is that this would require a set definition on what masculinity is. What if one doesnt meet those criteria?

[–] confuser@lemmy.zip 1 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (1 children)

Not only does a definition exist in various forms, or at least enough of one to figure it out but the assumption I'm making is that none of us meet the criteria and should aim to be better people.

[–] essell@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

I think a key trait of masculinity is developing the capacity to decide for yourself what that means, whilst not imposing it on others as expectations, on any gender

[–] confuser@lemmy.zip 1 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

This assumes that it means specific things like enjoying flowers, its leaving behind the boyish immaturity.

[–] essell@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Sorry, you lost me with that.

I agree with the second part, that growing up is a big aspect of becoming a man.

[–] confuser@lemmy.zip 1 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

I'm saying I don't agree with it being specific things

[–] essell@lemmy.world 1 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Fair enough. How you gonna answer your main question without specific things?

[–] confuser@lemmy.zip 1 points 3 hours ago

The entire thread here is that answer, you need only an aspiration.