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this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2023
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Asklemmy
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THIS, RECRUITS, IS A 20 KILO FEROUS SLUG. FEEL THE WEIGHT! EVERY FIVE SECONDS, THE MAIN GUN OF AN EVEREST-CLASS DREADNOUGHT ACCELERATES ONE, TO ONE-POINT-THREE PERCENT OF LIGHTSPEED. IT IMPACTS WITH THE FORCE A 38 KILOTON BOMB. THAT IS THREE TIMES THE YIELD OF THE CITY BUSTER DROPPED ON HIROSHIMA BACK ON EARTH. THAT MEANS, SIR ISACC NEWTON IS THE DEADLIEST SON-OF-A-BITCH IN SPACE! NOW! SERVICEMAN BURNSIDE, WHAT IS NEWTON'S FIRST LAW?
SIR! AN OBJECT IN MOTION STAYS IN MOTION, SIR!
NO CREDIT FOR PARTIAL ANSWERS MAGGOT!
SIR! UNLESS ACTED ON BY AN OUTSIDE FORCE, SIR!
DAMN STRAIGHT! I DARE TO ASSUME YOU IGNORANT JACKASSES KNOW THAT SPACE IS EMPTY. ONCE YOU FIRE THIS HUNK OF METAL, IT KEEPS GOING 'TIL IT HITS SOMETHING. THAT CAN BE A SHIP, OR THE PLANET BEHIND THAT SHIP. IT MIGHT GO OFF INTO DEEP SPACE AND HIT SOMEBODY ELSE IN 10,000 YEARS! IF YOU PULL THE TRIGGER ON THIS, YOU ARE RUINING SOMEONES DAY! SOMEWHERE AND SOMETIME! THAT IS WHY YOU CHECK YOUR DAMN TARGETS! THAT IS WHY YOU WAIT 'TIL THE COMPUTER GIVES YOU A DAMN FIRING SOLUTION. THAT IS WHY, SERVICEMAN CHUNG, WE DO NOT 'EYEBALL IT'. THIS IS A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION! YOU ARE NOT A COWBOY, SHOOTING FROM THE HIP!
SIR, YES SIR!