How does anyone believe in monogamy nowadays? (lemm.ee)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by DudePluto@lemm.ee to c/casualconversation@lemmy.world

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Not talking about being with one partner at a time. Talking about the idea of finding "the one" and being with them your whole life.

50% divorce rate. 97% of people (in the US) don't wait till marriage, so most of us have multiple sexual partners prior to the one we stick with. Many have children with more than one partner.

How can anyone look at the world and think, yeah, there's one that's meant for everyone and just one?

Also hope I don't come across disrespectful. If you do believe in monogamy, I am interested in hearing from you. I'm just buzzed and thinking about my own love life and being curt

Edit: Speaking to the idea that it's the "natural order" or default. Not that it can't work in individual circumstances, especially when we've been programmed for decades

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[-] htrayl@lemmy.world 51 points 1 year ago

The divorce rate is not 50%. It's closer to 30%, 40% at worst.

Monogamy isn't equivalent to lifelong partner.

Aside from which, even a 50% chance at your marriage being one that results in lifelong partnership with someone you care deeply about seems like good odds.

[-] PickTheStick@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago

Also, the 50% statistic is from all marriages, not first-time marriages. The figure goes way up due to people being divorced, married, divorced again, ad nauseam. I remember the first-time marriage divorce rate being somewhere in the range of 27-33%.

[-] QuinceDaPence@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Also out of that 33 I imagine a good chunk is people who were dating a couple months before deciding to get married, or those who got married because of an accidental pregnancy.

If you take first time marriages, where they were dating for over 1 year, and did not conceive a child until after being married, I imagine it's near 10%, maybe less, but I have no data to back that up.