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If losses and fees over 10 years came out negative, that is an extremely high indicator of fraud. There are a few exceptions. 1, if you hand picked the investments. 2 if the investments are restricted to like only the company you are working for, which I think has another name instead of 401k.
In the last 10 years the general market is up over 200%.
As for adhd. The point was you are technically not the average person. For us adhders college specifically is often extremely hard. Grades in general before college are rough too, which in turn reduces options for colleges. So it puts us at a solid disadvantage over the average. It certainly is a range, similar to how autism is a spectrum. And adhd can cause some sysmptoms most commonly associated with autism. Some people with adhd can't work. Those that can often get paid less than thier peers.
In another comment you mentioned that ICE gets a hiring bonus of more than your annual salary. The bonus was $50k I believe. These days for someone in their 30s, that is pretty low for a lot of places except those with a low cost of living.
All in all, you should keep an eye out for that one coworker who seems to know all the details of the 401k and other benefits. Get to know them, and ask questions. They usually love to talk on the subject and can probably help you understand how it all works better. I suspect thier are things you don't know about that make the situation better than it seems.