this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2025
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Witches VS Patriarchy

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[–] lath@piefed.social 34 points 2 days ago (5 children)

I remember my time as a boy... Back then the rules for us were "whatever dumb shit you're thinking of doing, fucking don't!".

Ever get chased through the fields with the nice, big, beautiful stick you brought back earlier that day? Ever had heavy stuff thrown at you for doing some really dumb shit?
Ever left the home with a deep, resentful glare burning through the back of your skull?

It's difficult to lay down rules for boys because in general, we're dumb as shit doing dumb shit all the time. So there's almost always one, unspoken rule for boys: "Just fucking don't!"

The problem though is that girls are held upon to a higher standard. There are expectations of a higher level of civility and understanding, though undue in my opinion. Some of y'all were as dumb as the rest of us and were treated unfairly due to those higher standards.

But let's face it, as parents or adults, we all probably tend to have a similar kind of bias towards our own kids. Some of them are dumb as shit and while we worry about them, every time they plan to do something stupid, the inner voice we won't admit to is saying "please, oh please, just fucking don't!". Meanwhile, the kids we worry about less as they know their shit, they have clear, but few specific rules because we believe that's what they need.

So, in my humble opinion as a formerly dumb boy/kid, the lack of written rules more likely means there are too many, unpredictable rules that have to be managed proactively.

Btw, unrelated question, has anyone managed to get squirrels drunk in those camps of yours? I know it was on a to-do list at one point...

[–] scrion@lemmy.world 39 points 2 days ago (2 children)

It's very easy to lay down rules for boys. Don't ogle, grope, or otherwise assault someone just because they're wearing a two - piece swimsuit. Let people wear what they want, even if it's a white shirt. Don't let the outer appearance of anyone be the guide to make up a fantasy in your head and decide what kind of person they are.

See? That wasn't very hard.

I think not all hope is lost, but you're missing the point here, with a bit of the ol' "boys will be boys" attitude mixed in. First of all, it doesn't help to treat boys (or any teenager for that matter) as some form of intermittent lifeform on its way to achieve full sentience. They're not animals, and most of them haven't been dropped off in the jungle and were raised by wolves. They can, and have to, learn what is acceptable behavior, as well as empathy for those that surround them.

Dismissing any form of accountability and consistently shifting the blame to a 14 year old girl wearing a white shirt at a lake function enforces stereotypes and societal preconceptions that I can only call disgusting.

[–] riverSpirit@thelemmy.club 44 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

The rules aren’t because boys will “ogle” the girls, it’s because some religious fuckhead has inserted their views onto society.

Those in power want to enforce abrahamic religious norms. It about control, they don’t care about protecting children.

[–] princessnorah@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What are you talking about, boys will absolutely ogle girls, and sometimes other boys. They're teenagers! The thing is, it doesn't matter how prudish you try to be, they'll still do it. If they can see some ankle they'll fap to it later. The best outcome is if they're ogling someone too much and making that person uncomfortable, take them aside and privately tell them to knock that shit off. You don't need a bloody no looking rule that makes them feel sinful just for having a peek at someone clothed. You also wouldn't need a no touching rule if you just fluffing taught them consent at 10yo, around when you should be starting sex ed as well anyway.

[–] stray@pawb.social 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I feel like we can teach consent in preschool; it applies to way more than sexual interaction, and would hopefully help kids identify when they're being abused.

Yeah honestly, you're right, we should be teaching bodily autonomy once kids are old enough to dress themselves (physically, idc if they want to wear the hero or princess outfit every day, let them! let 'boys' wear princess outfits too!!).

[–] hddsx@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I dunno. I think a little ogling is fine, just don’t make people uncomfortable.

But yeah. Maybe don’t touch even if they’re naked without consent?

Edit: curious what the downvotes are for. Do people want to touch without consent? Because I sure as hell don’t to be touched, whether or not I have clothes on. And I wouldn’t want that on other people either

[–] rat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

None of that is "rules for boys" though. They apply to all kids. If a girl is acting rambunctious, she'll get told to stop too. Often for behavior the boys don't even get called out for because, as you said yourself, girls are held to a higher standard of civility.

[–] Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 13 points 1 day ago

I remember being kids and an adult ruined our fun game of throwing spears at each other.

[–] flicker@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 day ago

Ever left the home with a deep, resentful glare burning through the back of your skull?

Yes, but that's on trauma, not on weird social rules on genders. (I'm a woman.)

[–] stray@pawb.social 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I don't really understand how what you've written relates to boys being allowed to wear white shirts, but not girls.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 day ago

I assume they're responding to the end of the meme that says "Where are the boys' rules?" - these are the boys rules - "just don't", basically