this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2025
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Mental Health

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Mother started acting nice after I cut my cords with her (leminal.space)
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by july@leminal.space to c/mentalhealth@lemmy.world
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Some info: 22M, looking to move out. It started last weekend when we were discussing politics, she got mad and loudly called me an idiot. Outside, public street btw. A bit before this she also screamed at me in a minimarket for me not wanting to put my backpack in their storage boxes. Lol.

I get she was tired but she didn’t even apologize until later home when I told her about it.

Then next night I had some dreams about all the stupid shit I had to through as a kid of hers. I woke up with a disgusted taste about her and I didn’t want to talk with her anymore.

It’s been a 6 days, where I continually ignored her. She keeps coming at my door asking to “repair things”. You can’t repair 22 years of negligence. I told her that I need space and time and I will talk to her after. She keeps going against my boundaries and asks what’s wrong. Since I’ve already told her, now I’m blasting music on my headphones because it seems she can’t understand how to accord private space. She has the mentality that “I’m your mother hence I can do anything”

Now she talks nice but I know it’s just a matter of time. It’s a manipulation tactic to get me back. She doesn’t actually feel sorry.

Thanks for reading.

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[–] dingus@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

I'm sorry you're dealing with that. Do you actually have the means to move out? I always really love to encourage people to do so if they are in an unfortunate environment. It will do so much for your mental health.

I was in a radically different scenario, but my anxiety was in constant overdrive when I briefly lived with some roommates. Not their fault, just my own.

Anyway, when I moved out from my roommate scenario, it was like a massive weight was lifted off my shoulders and I was so much more content in my own safe space.

Obviously my scenario was different than yours, but the common denominator is an environment that is bad for your mental health.

If you're able to move out, it will be easier to either cut the cord entirely or have a more meaningful relationship with your mom.