this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2025
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Witches VS Patriarchy

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[–] echodot@feddit.uk 35 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

we would learn how to interact before puberty without sexual objectification.

Most kids do if you leave them alone. It's the adults that have them problems with it. I had zero interest in sex until at least 15 at the earliest. Adults are the problem, as per usual.

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That's interesting, I remember thinking teachers classmates moms were hot when I was in kindergarten and 1st grade. I didn't really know what to do with that feeling but it was definitely there.

[–] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 5 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

As someone who hit puberty at 8 and had a shitty mustache at 11 I concur. But it is probably highly variable based off of biology, like I was jacking off like a spider monkey way too early by most peoples standards. Weirdly enough I am aromantic legit don't get the appeal, meanwhile I've got a libido that put a cat in heat to shame.

[–] baduhai@sopuli.xyz 2 points 6 hours ago

Stop shaming cats in heat! They can't help it!

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 3 points 21 hours ago

Weirdly enough I am aromantic legit don’t get the appeal, meanwhile I’ve got a libido that put a cat in heat to shame.

Wow same.

[–] untorquer@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

Agreed and yeah that's the point.

Not being comfortable socially with girls/women and being force-fed masculinity made my life and the life of women around me so much more difficult in my teens/early adulthood. Social skills are so much harder to develop, and cognitive biases so much harder to correct as an adult.

[–] LillyPip@lemmy.ca 0 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I'm 54. Still zero interest in sex. I can't fathom why people have to be so obsessed with it, because life is fine without it, but that's probably just me.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I can’t fathom why people have to be so obsessed with it

Literally just hormones. I can't explain horniness better than... idk, sleepiness? Hungriness?

Trying to explain to a horny person not to think about sex is a bit like trying to explain to an itchy person not to think about scratching.

And, a lot like with itching, once you've done it the urge only gets worse. Losing your virginity is like opening up an emotional floodgate. Once you've experienced it, you're a soppy emotional mess just pining for the next opportunity.

life is fine without it

Man Who Hasn't Just Downed a Full Pot of Coffee: "You keep squeezing your legs shut and looking for a toilet. Why don't you just calm down?"

[–] LillyPip@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I didn’t mean people shouldn’t be that way, only that I can’t personally fathom it.

I also can’t personally fathom why some people are obsessed with food. I don’t mean they’re wrong, just that I can’t understand their POV. Like I get they feel that way, and it’s not wrong, it’s just outside my reckoning. Like I eat enough to live, and I don’t obsess over it. That’s foreign to me, thinking about food 24/7 even when you’re not hungry.

E: just ruminating here, not judging. I’m sharing and want other people to share. I’m not great at sharing without offending people, sorry.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 1 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

I also can’t personally fathom why some people are obsessed with food

That seems fairly straightforward.

[–] LillyPip@lemmy.ca 1 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (1 children)

For me? no. I can’t imagine thinking about anything that much. Like, to the exclusion of other things, I mean. Or, focussed on one thing (other then nothing – I can turn everything off, but throttling is very hard).

I know we don’t all think this way, but being that passionate without control is kinda foreign to me.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 1 points 8 hours ago

being that passionate without control

That's just brain development. Psychological control is as muscle you build as a bicep or a glut. And it's muscle that can be exhausted or atrophied over time.

[–] sausager@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I would have killed to not have been obsessed with sex from 18-35. Now that I'm nearly 50 it's finally calmed down. What a pain that was - I wonder if I could have gotten medication for it. Is that a thing?

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Oh yeah. They chemically castrated Turing with meds that just didn’t make him horny anymore, and he killed himself because of it. That wasn’t by choice, though.

[–] sausager@lemmy.world 1 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

It must have done something more than turn the horny off... Why would not being horny make you suicidal? Doesn't make sense

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

It makes total sense to me! As someone who was extremely horny growing up and isn’t really anymore, losing that part of me at that time would have been DEVASTATING. That is maybe the worst thing that could have happened to me. I don’t care as much anymore, but when I did, I would have killed myself as well.

[–] sausager@lemmy.world 1 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

But if you're made to not miss it why would you be depressed. That's like not being hungry anymore and being sad you don't want to eat.

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 8 hours ago

My gay lover that the government is punishing me for loving doesn’t mind if I don’t be as hungry as I was, and I am fine not being as hungry around my gay lover that the government I HELPED TO DECIPHER THE SECRET CRYPTOGRAPHY NOBODY ELSE COULD DO but being forced lose a part of me where I can physically love my gay lover would do a BIT OF A TOLL on my mental health, wouldn’t it? Is it really that difficult to understand why being fucking castrated would take a horrible toll mentally on someone in that situation, when they’re minding their own business and just called the cops because their house was broken into?

But sure, it’s just like not being hungry.

[–] LillyPip@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 day ago

Probably hormonal, so yeah. I’ve always been too low on the spectrum, and there’s a healthy balance. If it was disruptive for you, you may have been off-balance the other way. I’m not a doctor though, so…