Where I live, Germany, it is very common to spend weeks, sometimes even months, trying to slowly get a child used to going to day care. In my home country, the Netherlands, this wasn't really a thing when I was younger and, from what I've learned from people with young children there, isn't common even today. That got me thinking.
Are there many differences between countries when it comes to day care and specifically getting your children to go to day care in the first place?
We're currently getting our second child used to day care. For our first child the entire process took six weeks and represented the Idea trajectory - nobody was ill, she liked going there, she liked eating there and she didn't make a fuss when it was time to sleep there. Still, this represents a significant investment of time (and therefore money) for any working parent. Sometimes it seems really absurd and impractical. I get the impression that the entire day care system in Germany revolves around the idea that mothers don't work or, if they do, it's only ever part time.
How does this look like in other countries? I've linked an article (in German, but translation services are available) about the system we're stuck with here, if anyone wants to dive deeper.
Huh, so it's a whole thing in Germany.
Sane.
My thoughts on this will differ a lot depending on how old the kids are, and a few other factors.
Yes, it is a whole thing. There are different models with different time frames and it gets tought in the education of the daycare professionals.
I am talking kids aging 0,6 to 3. That is the lower range in Germany and normally you would start with daycare in that age frame. (Not taking into Account Bavaria. I think you get shot or something as a mother if you even think about giving your child to daycare there)
Usually it can be more difficult with older kids though if they have no experience in daycare, since they are more used to only relate to their parents and spending time with them. Also they might faster realize their parents are going to leave them there and that this is going to become the norm for their days. Understandably they are not gonna like that right off the bat.
I worked in other countries as well and it was quite a shock culture wise to have people expect you to rip the crying child of their arms and throw activities at them for up to 9 hours so they get distracted. As I said, sure, the child will cope over time and calm down. But in the long run I doubt it is a good thing development wise. Starting off you WILL distract them from their feelings and that is not the best way to learn how to deal with your emotions all the time.
We have kindergarten precursors for smaller kids here.
Also, dads do any of that (almost) as much as mums.
I resent that. We do very well help kids to deal with their feelings. Teach emotions, empathy. And also have empathy for them. Words of consolation, a lap to sit in.
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Give kids more credit. They are social creatures and ideally they do relate to many differen people right from the start.