this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2025
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I've gone my whole life (I'm 35) NOT thinking I was trans but now I do, wtf am I supposed to do with this? How do I find out for sure? Am I allowed to be a trans lesbian because I'm not attracted to men? Can I even come out, when it will ruin my whole life? I'm jealous of the youth, being old sucks.

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My best friend came out when she was 34... and she almost exclusively dated women (cis or otherwise). I don't think she would have put the label 'lesbian' on herself, she was more pan, but I think the important thing is she did what felt right for her and what made her happy.

She did lose some friends, and some in her family had a very hard time learning to accept her, but she also found an amazing amount of love from the friends and family that did immediately, and without question, accepted her.

Stay safe, take care of yourself, and remember that no matter what the small minded people say, think or do, you still have people who love you and just want you to be you, and happy.