this post was submitted on 22 Sep 2025
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Trans Memes
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Same… when I try to practice, I am terrible at it, and failing at a girl voice makes me feel worse than just tolerating my masc voice does. But then I always feel self-conscious about not sounding femme enough when I’m talking to people I’m out to, especially on the phone. I need to find a proper voice coach/therapist to at least help me get started with the basics
here is a voice training beginner's guide, by the way:
Broadly the two main gendering qualities to a voice are weight and size. With voice training the general idea is to:
ear train: learn to recognize when you weight is heavy vs light, when size is large vs small
mimic and experiment: learn to produce voices that are different weights and sizes, and esp. how to balance those to produce a typical feminine voice (suitably light and small)
practice: just keep listening and recognizing when you're slipping up and to adjust your voice back into the feminine range, over time and lots of persistent practice, this habituates and becomes your voice!
For exploring weight:
For size:
For more about the balance of weight and size:
Videos to help guide expectations for beginners:
For beginners it can also be helpful to explore more achievable lower-pitch feminine voices:
To ear train, it's commonly recommended to listen to and "play along" with Selene's clips:
Note: as you experiment or do any voice training exercise, make sure to pay close attention to:
Experiments to try:
This is exactly where I am. I feel more feminine when speaking naturally, without my forced, learned masculinisation, than I do when using my girl voice, which at best sounds like a small child. With my friends I'm fine, but I avoid phone calls as much as I can. Voice training only feels worthwhile for the sake of avoiding harassment in public or appeasing people who I feel might accuse me of being insufficiently feminine, and that's just not the kind of motivation that pushes me into doing something well. Without professional speech therapy, I'm better off pausing this endeavour.
It's really difficult to self teach, because you have to simultaneously be in the position of learner and teacher, which means it's super difficult to stall out. I am tremendously grateful for the online resources that make it so easy to learn new skills (both in voice training and beyond), but it can be pretty overwhelming for a beginner.
I think it's particularly difficult with trans voice training because any sort of voice training is probably going to require recording one's voice and listening to those recordings, and that can be an incredibly dysphoric experience (especially at the beginning).
It sounds like you are wise enough to understand this already, which is good. I wish you the strength to tolerate your masc voice until you're able to get help in finding your real voice.