this post was submitted on 22 Sep 2025
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Trans Memes
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Same… when I try to practice, I am terrible at it, and failing at a girl voice makes me feel worse than just tolerating my masc voice does. But then I always feel self-conscious about not sounding femme enough when I’m talking to people I’m out to, especially on the phone. I need to find a proper voice coach/therapist to at least help me get started with the basics
here is a voice training beginner's guide, by the way:
Broadly the two main gendering qualities to a voice are weight and size. With voice training the general idea is to:
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ear train: learn to recognize when you weight is heavy vs light, when size is large vs small
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mimic and experiment: learn to produce voices that are different weights and sizes, and esp. how to balance those to produce a typical feminine voice (suitably light and small)
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practice: just keep listening and recognizing when you're slipping up and to adjust your voice back into the feminine range, over time and lots of persistent practice, this habituates and becomes your voice!
For exploring weight:
For size:
- https://clyp.it/jdquw5ac
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BW8X2nXexQs (this video has some pedagogical flaws, but is still good for listening / experimenting to some extent)
For more about the balance of weight and size:
Videos to help guide expectations for beginners:
- on goals: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYSxobwWypI
- on daily practice: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fylIX28mlyY
For beginners it can also be helpful to explore more achievable lower-pitch feminine voices:
To ear train, it's commonly recommended to listen to and "play along" with Selene's clips:
Note: as you experiment or do any voice training exercise, make sure to pay close attention to:
- how it sounds to you as you do it,
- how it sounds when you record it and play it back for yourself,
- how others report they hear it, and also
- how it feels (in your body) when you produce the different sounds, keeping mental note so you can reproduce the voice if you need.
Experiments to try:
- using a pitch detector, sing a note and chant a word while maintain the same pitch, and change resonance/size from dark/large to bright/small while keeping pitch the same
- using a pitch detector, keep pitch steady and practice going from a heavy to a light weight without changing pitch
- mimic a large voice, like Patrick from Spongebob, or the Giant from Jack in the Beanstalk
- mimic a small voice, like when you talk to a baby or a cute puppy or animal, or accessible overfull childish voices, like Ash Ketchum from Pokemon or Dexter from Dexter's Lab
- mimic a heavy voice
- mimic a light voice
- try producing an underfull voice intentionally
- try producing an overfull voice intentionally
- try going from full masc to overfull
- from full masc to underfull
- from full masc to full fem
- from full fem back to full masc
- from underfull to full fem
- from overfull to full fem
This is exactly where I am. I feel more feminine when speaking naturally, without my forced, learned masculinisation, than I do when using my girl voice, which at best sounds like a small child. With my friends I'm fine, but I avoid phone calls as much as I can. Voice training only feels worthwhile for the sake of avoiding harassment in public or appeasing people who I feel might accuse me of being insufficiently feminine, and that's just not the kind of motivation that pushes me into doing something well. Without professional speech therapy, I'm better off pausing this endeavour.
It's really difficult to self teach, because you have to simultaneously be in the position of learner and teacher, which means it's super difficult to stall out. I am tremendously grateful for the online resources that make it so easy to learn new skills (both in voice training and beyond), but it can be pretty overwhelming for a beginner.
I think it's particularly difficult with trans voice training because any sort of voice training is probably going to require recording one's voice and listening to those recordings, and that can be an incredibly dysphoric experience (especially at the beginning).
It sounds like you are wise enough to understand this already, which is good. I wish you the strength to tolerate your masc voice until you're able to get help in finding your real voice.
(0,0) what's this?
According to the graph, OP had no progress last year either