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If you found someone attractive, would you date them if you found out they were trans?
(lemmy.blahaj.zone)
this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2025
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If I wasn't already in a committed relationship, yes. I'm pan.
I you have like gender blindness like people have bird blindness?
No? I recognize gender, I'm just attracted to em all.
how do you define pan?
Generally I'm attracted to all gender expressions and sexual characteristics, just to varying degrees. Whether or not someone is trans makes no difference to me if I'm attracted to them.
oh interesting - I stopped using "pan" as an identity label when it started to be used to mean equal attraction to genders and words like polysexual and omnisexual came out. (Polysexual: attraction to 2 or more genders, but not necessarily attracted to all genders; omnisexual: attracted to all genders, but to varying degrees.)
To be honest I got tired of labels that had such different meanings among different groups, and I didn't like the idea of ceding "bisexual" to the transphobes, so I just identify as "bi" now because most people understand roughly what I mean by it. Realistically I'm probably polysexual, but I don't like using a label nobody is aware of, and it's not important to me to make these kinds of distinctions.
I do think being trans could influence my attraction to someone, ironically in either direction. Being trans myself, I don't like being around other trans people because of the "second hand dysphoria" I can feel. On the other hand, the right kind of trans body can be very attractive to me - so I guess it's not straightforwardly about being trans, but generally I am less attracted to trans people because generally they remind me of how ugly and "gender fucked" I am. ๐ That's a me problem, I get it.
Yep, gender is a fuck! It's messy and complicated. I have individual preferences, but no hard lines, and I don't intend on letting that define me. I even started adding "they/them" pronouns to my acceptable pronoun list even though I consider myself cis just because pronouns aren't gender, and many people don't approve of they/them pronouns. Gender is messy, and so is attraction. It's also something that changes for many people, and that's okay too!