this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2025
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The first rule of patriarchy is ... (lazysoci.al)
submitted 3 days ago by ZDL@lazysoci.al to c/womensstuff@piefed.blahaj.zone
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... we never say the first rule of patriarchy out loud.

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[–] Seleni@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

And boy are there great examples of those men on Lemmy. Sigh. That one post about women and dating vs solitude really brought the slime out of the woodwork.

And all the comments on it about ‘I showed emotion once and my girl dumped me, so obviously all women are lying about wanting sensitive men!’

Like, first off, you were obviously dating an asshole. My man has cried in front of me and I thought all the better of him for it.

But also, concerning women being assholes like that; the patriarchy gets internalized by women too. They can exhibit its toxic behaviors just like men can. That’s not the cue to blame women; it’s the cue to blame the patriarchy.

[–] ZDL@lazysoci.al 4 points 2 days ago

‘I showed emotion once and my girl dumped me, so obviously all women are lying about wanting sensitive men!’

There's a few observations that leap to mind when I hear stories like this.

  1. Very on-the-nose, these are. In the "cool story, bro, that absolutely did happen like your girlfriend in Canada is real" vein.
  2. Let's rewrite that sentence in another context to see how idiotic it is. "I tried having fun once, but didn't like it, so obviously all fun is a scam." This is the kind of stupidity that comes when you think of an entire gender as a monolithic group. (The same applies to race.)
  3. "Showing emotion" is very ... vague. Rage is an emotion too... When people vaguebook like that, I get very suspicious like I get suspicious about the "nice guy" assertions that they're never anything but perfectly polite and reasonable with women and yet women never give them the time of day.