... we never say the first rule of patriarchy out loud.
Please note: this community is women-only, please read the rules before commenting.
this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2025
454 points (100.0% liked)
WomensStuff
655 readers
221 users here now
Women only trans inclusive This is an inclusive community for all things women. Whether you're here for make up tips, feminism or just friendly chit chat, we've got you covered.
Rules…
- Women only… trans women are women, and transphobic or gender critical talk isn’t allowed. Anyone under the trans umbrella (e.g. non-binary, bigender, agender) is free to decide whether a women's community is a good fit for them.
- Don’t be a dick. No personal attacks, no aggression, play nice.
- Don’t hate on groups, hatefilled talk about groups is not allowed. Ever.
- No governmental politics, so no talk of Trump actions etc. We recommend Feminism@beehaw.org for that, but here is an escape from it.
- New accounts or users with few comments may have their posts removed to prevent spam and bad-faith participation.
founded 6 months ago
MODERATORS
And boy are there great examples of those men on Lemmy. Sigh. That one post about women and dating vs solitude really brought the slime out of the woodwork.
And all the comments on it about ‘I showed emotion once and my girl dumped me, so obviously all women are lying about wanting sensitive men!’
Like, first off, you were obviously dating an asshole. My man has cried in front of me and I thought all the better of him for it.
But also, concerning women being assholes like that; the patriarchy gets internalized by women too. They can exhibit its toxic behaviors just like men can. That’s not the cue to blame women; it’s the cue to blame the patriarchy.
‘I showed emotion once and my girl dumped me, so obviously all women are lying about wanting sensitive men!’
There's a few observations that leap to mind when I hear stories like this.
- Very on-the-nose, these are. In the "cool story, bro, that absolutely did happen like your girlfriend in Canada is real" vein.
- Let's rewrite that sentence in another context to see how idiotic it is. "I tried having fun once, but didn't like it, so obviously all fun is a scam." This is the kind of stupidity that comes when you think of an entire gender as a monolithic group. (The same applies to race.)
- "Showing emotion" is very ... vague. Rage is an emotion too... When people vaguebook like that, I get very suspicious like I get suspicious about the "nice guy" assertions that they're never anything but perfectly polite and reasonable with women and yet women never give them the time of day.
Oh yeah, if women are so great, how come they have never successfully oppressed an entire gender?
We did in prehistory. It was boring so we set them free.
hi Professorozone, thanks for your comment but this community is women-only and has a rule that only women are permitted to comment or post, so please don't comment further. Hope you understand 💛
Ha! So true. The second is to get women attacking each other so we don't overthrow them
Are woman attacking each other?
Yes, unfortunately.
Like just off the top of my head, TERFs?
I should have also mentioned the demise of the National Action Committee in Canada, once a huge and powerful voice for women and feminism in Canada but torn apart from within by infighting and, specifically, by the upper middle class white women ignoring what black and, even worse, native women were saying about their experience.
Trigger warning for SA references and worse
White women worried about salaries and getting their asses smacked in the workplace.
Native women worried about getting raped by family members and then murdered. (Don't believe the first part? Read Tanya Tagaq's book. Just have a lot of tissues on standby.
It began in 1971 and by the mid-80s had 700 women's groups under its umbrella making it by far the single largest lobbying group in Canada on behalf of women. But the aforementioned issues started to arise and the NAC tore itself apart from within as black women and native women brought up their own issues and were dismissed while the white upper middle class women circled the wagons against any and all critique.
This weakened them as a force so thoroughly that the Conservative government of Brian Mulroney thought (correctly) it could drop federal funding of the NAC without facing pushback, leading it to scale back its activities drastically to the point of irrelevance. It was finally mercifully put out of its organizational misery in 2007 with its formal dissolution, but it had long before that been a non-issue.
That was very much a case of women attacking each other while the patriarchy looked on with glee.
Constantly
hi theUwUhugger, thanks for your comment but this community is women-only and has a rule that only women are permitted to comment or post, so please don't comment further. Hope you understand 💛
Whoops thought crime was commited, I am going!
I mean, sure, but reactionary movements always try to point the blame at the movement they're reacting to. It's not something unique to feminism or the patriarchy.
Edit: Ah! My bad. I will respect this communities from here on
hi chuckleslord thanks for your comment but this community is women-only and has a rule that only women are permitted to comment or post, so please don’t comment further. Hope you understand 💛
Thank you for the respectful response to correction.
I thought young women were turning to feminism because of perfectly normal men who aren't unusual at all.
Well, yeah. Everybody knows that nothing dries us up faster than well-adjusted, thoughtful, respectful men!