this post was submitted on 08 Oct 2025
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There are probably a couple of them who would be envious that they didn’t have the opportunity while they were alive. (Not a defense of AI girlfriends, just a joke and semi-relevant meme)
Here's one for Thomas Jefferson
https://youtu.be/20ghjoX2_GE
A lot of people have commented on how Ben Franklin would love porn, trans women, modern voluntary sterilization, etc., but I'm just gonna come out with a hot take: Ben Franklin would fucking love cocaine. Really all modern stimulants. If there's a heaven he's up there doing lines off some chick's dick discussing her PhD dissertation. This is a man who would be fucking pissed that the nation he helped found has created Adderall shortages by restricting supplies. He'd demand healthcare be in the bill of rights for that reason alone.
He also might break down crying at the fact that we eliminated smallpox. He did the variolation thing, but his son didn't and he died of smallpox. Franklin deeply regretted not having him do it.
Then tell him that there's a whole movement of people who sees the tech that eliminated smallpox as a bad thing. That's where he's going to get deeply disappointed with us.
If you brought Ben Franklin into the modern world you'd lose him within a couple hours then find him again in Goodsprings NV hungover and missing his pants.
Edit: If you read NV as New Vegas and not Nevada you need to turn off the 500+ modded semi corrupt New Vegas install and go read Blood Meridian or something.
Oh no you're not putting that on everyone else. It's American's fault for just randomly deciding that everybody else should know where AR is. If you're going to two letter abbreviate places they at least have to be places that the international community has ever heard of, America is full of nowhere places that haven't turned up in popular media and no one from the international community has ever gone to.
Nevada has Las Vegas, Reno, Area 51, and half of the Hoover dam. I'm pretty damned sure most folks have at least vaguely heard of the state, also I'm making fun of Fallout fans seeing the abbreviation of NV and reading New Vegas and not Nevada.
While Nevada isn't the most notable state it does pop up quite often in popular media thanks to Vegas. It's not like I'm referring to fucking Salmon Idaho or fucking Hebron Kentucky. Its basically the American version of Normandy or Gdańsk, culturally and historically relevant but firmly in the lower end of the top ten.
You can pry my 500+ modded semi corrupt TTW install from my cold, dead paws.
Go read Blood Meridian profligate.
Wait a minute, Goodsprings is a real place? 😮
Does it often get attacked by boomers irl too?
Boomers are the ones at Nelson. The convicts are the Powder Rangers. Go play New Vegas the psychoindoctrination hasn't settled in yet
Damn, it's been some years. I forgot.
Clearly you are the rarest of Fallout players. The non-autistic or at least the non-hyperfixater.
Was he into stimulants, too!?
The stimulants available to a north American of his time were wildly popular at the time in the british colonies and it's difficult to imagine him not partaking in either of them. Thst said, they were coffee and tea, both of which remain legal here to this day, and we even scrapped the extra tax on tea.
Franklin died in 1790. Cocaine was first isolated in 1859 and it looks like coca wasn't really available in the global north until around that time. That said, upon the arrival of cocaine, the USA put that shit in everything. We loved the stuff
Tobacco products were also very popular. Snuff being popular among rich people.
Coca was used as a drug (documented) in 1568.
Additionally laudanum and opium we’re also popular, but they aren’t stimulants afaik.
I also forgot about mate because I'm a bad American and forgot about my continent's native stimulants. Tobacco was common but not in the way it was in the 20th century. It was more tasted than inhaled.
But yeah I did a quick search and it looked like coca wasn't widely traded with the anglosphere until the 19th century
Madison Cawthorn? The gun-toting sex-pest who got caught driving without a license Madison Cawthorn?!
The same one who claimed he was invited to cocaine fueled Republican orgies.
After that claim his political career tanked. I don't know why.