It's fucking hockey. How can someone be into hockey and be so precious and fragile with their feely feels that rainbow tape upsets them?

"This is Bob. He's our fourth line filler. He's a bit emotional about some things but his mother comes to every game to make sure he's okay and the ref isn't being too hard on him. You'll need to take your pride tape off too. Also, we need him effective and not sulking on the bench, so he asks everyone call him Alpha from now on. If he trips and calls slashing on you, yes, even though you're on his team and no where near him, just apologise so we can keep the game flowing."