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Israel Military Reports It Was You, The Reader, Who Blew Up Hospital (www.theonion.com)

submitted 2 years ago by Clodsire@lemmy.ml to c/theonion@midwest.social

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GAZA CITY, GAZA—Following conflicting accounts of a horrific attack on a Gaza hospital, officials from the Israeli Defense Forces released a new statement Wednesday that claimed it was you, the reader of this very article, who committed the act of terror.

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[–] Resol@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Guess I am banned from leaving my house then

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

And restricted to 2,279 calories per day.

And no medicine.

Lemme see your knee caps…

[–] Resol@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

I guess I'm gonna die then