62
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2023
62 points (91.9% liked)
Ask Lemmy
26858 readers
1965 users here now
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
I'd say no. You are not your mother's brother's keeper. Now, if you want ease your your mind, or try to repair the damaged relationship. Or to give this guy a chance to improve his situation, you could offer to pay off the loan as a one time only, never again, doesn't matter if they become homeless or will starve to death thing. But don't give them money to pay it off, you go with them to the loan place and pay it off directly. Then you can say you gave them a chance to turn things around, it's up to them at that point what they do. We all make mistakes, and sometimes need a hand to get out from under a bad situation. But if we keep putting ourselves into the fire, at some point we deserve the burns.
That one time loan is about my saving in 5 years. Yeah, I can pay once, but only once then I have nothing left.
I am afaid he mess up again, then our problem back from begining.
About the "keeper" thing, I feel that my uncle are parasite my mother. I want her to get out, and forget all the stress about money. But i cannot save her from him.
Yes, then back to my original thought, No. You are not obligated in anyway for the financial support of anyone besides yourself. This may cause anger in others, like your mother for example. But at the end of the day, being angry is her problem, not yours. The choice is simple when broken down to it's most basic levels. You help, throwing away money that has next to zero chance of ever coming back to you or really fixing the issues. And, your mother won't be angry with you. Or you don't, keeping your money and angering your mother. Do you care more about the money, or your mom being angry is the question. In all honesty, depending on your age, might be easier to just move out and get your own place if you have good enough financials to do so, and are of legal age. I wish you luck, I had to tell my drug addict sister no to giving her money I knew she would spend on more drugs. She hasn't spoke to me since, and that was nearly 25 years ago.