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Selfhosted
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Totally go with Tailscale, can't stress how nice it is.
How does it compare with a VPN?
This article explains it better than I could
https://tailscale.com/learn/replacing-legacy-vpn
It's a mesh network, so there's no open ports on your router. In that way it's more secure than a VPN in my opinion. You do have to trust Tailscale themselves, but they've documented why that's not a concern.
Mesh network clients on your home network make an outbound connection to their respective discovery servers (or whatever theyre calling them). Companies like Tailscale host these servers so your mesh clients can find each other.
https://tailscale.com/kb/1151/what-is-tailscale