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I'm also loving Nextcloud for a simple way to do a bunch of simple things. Installing with AIO wasn't so hard (though I plan to migrate to NixOS someday), and it introduces me to a bunch of things I can do (such as making links for shared folders with random people, no login required for them) without my having to learn a ton different specialised things.
Most of what I want to do I feel in principle there should be a better way (e.g. syncthing plus a web-frontend file server) but there's always a weak point somewhere.
Especially that Nextcloud had decent apps for both Android and iPhone.
True, it's a bit slow, takes most of my low-budget VPS's memory, and doesn't always work the way I'd like etc. but it's great for me for now.
I'm already on nixos, so nextcloud is not a pain anymore
I'm fully agree on all the points you mentioned
I run nextcloud on a es i9 with so much ram I don't remember how much exactly, 32 or 64
P.s. I believe the future of selfhosted cloud is based on syncthing, has some e2e encryption, and vpn integrated
We need some more volunteers to run relays :-)
Ed: or maybe ipv6 will solve everything one day