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egg_irl [CW: Assumes Viewer is Transfem] (transfem.space)
submitted 10 months ago by Amelia@transfem.space to c/egg_irl@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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[-] squirrel@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I don't want to contradict your experience, because I have been in a very similar state of mind in the past and some time ago I would probably have written a similar comment. But I want to tell you about my own experience with social anxiety and being trans. There has been a somewhat strange development of my mental state which you may find informative.

Since I decided to transition, my social anxiety has diminished. No, it's not gone, but it is less powerful than before. I attribute this to a strange paradox: When presenting male, I was fixated on doing "man" right. I was under constant stress of being exposed as a "fake man" who wasn't manly enough and I always - consciously and subconsciously - tried to be more male.

I thought that this would also be the case when transitioning to female. That I would constantly have to worry about "doing female" right. But I don't.

I was convinced that presenting as this or that gender was a constant dance on a tightrope. But after a while I realised that it isn't anymore, because I am just being myself. It's one less thing my mind worries about. And a big one at that.

As I said: My social anxiety is still there and I am only making baby steps towards presenting more female, because - yeah - I am also very worried about the social and political climate in the place I live in. And I certainly can't say that your mind works similarly, but gender dysphoria warps one's brain in very insidious ways and sometimes the outcome is a paradoxical state of mind.

[-] violetraven@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 10 months ago

The "fake male" part, gosh, that resonates so hard with me. I felt like I would mimic other males and none of it ever made sense. Same with transitioning and feeling at least a bit more outgoing.

this post was submitted on 21 Dec 2023
123 points (100.0% liked)

egg_irl — Memes about being trans people in denial and other eggy topics

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!egg_irl

!egg_irl is for widely relatable memes about questioning one's gender or being an egg (a trans person in denial) as well as other eggy topics.

If you are looking for a place to discuss something specific to you or especially if you need help or are in crisis, we have communities and resources that can support you linked at the bottom of this sidebar.

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Rules on Content:

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  3. You may optionally include other tags, such as:

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