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More Realistic Meat Substitute Made From Soy Raised In Brutally Cruel Conditions (www.theonion.com)
submitted 10 months ago by usernamesAreTricky@lemmy.ml to c/theonion@midwest.social
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[-] seathru@lemm.ee 80 points 10 months ago

Works for hot peppers. The worse you treat them while growing; the hotter, angrier and tastier they get.

[-] Zoboomafoo@slrpnk.net 43 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Certain vegetables like leeks get buried as they sprout to make the "shoot" part as long as possible.

Rhubarb is grown in near complete darkness, and it screams as it grows towards a light it'll never reach

[-] seathru@lemm.ee 38 points 10 months ago

Rhubarb is grown in near complete darkness, and it screams as it grows towards a light it’ll never reach

Rhubarb cellars are metal. I forgot all about that.

[-] NielsBohron@lemmy.world 21 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

There's some really great metal band names in here (IMHO).

  • Metalcore: Scream At A Light You'll Never Reach

  • Stoner: Rhubong and the Devil's Lettuce

  • Doom: Near Complete Darkness

  • Black: Rhübarb Screams

  • Death: Cellar Crop

  • Goregrind: Fed Shit and Kept in the Dark

  • Country/Folk Metal (aka Hank III): Rhubarb Wire Fences

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this post was submitted on 07 Jan 2024
767 points (97.6% liked)

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