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this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2024
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i know this is always awkward but as a bi, saying "went gay" (or straight) is technically bi erasure. Not that I'm super mad about it, but it's worth pointing out when a bisexual person is in a long term relationship / marriage until death do us part — they don't stop being bi.
"bi erasure" is a nice $2 NPR podcast phrase but isn't it ultimately up to the individual to define what his own sexuality is? If the guy says he's gay now, I believe him.
Agree that it's up to the individual, and that it's valid to switch from being bi to gay.
I don't really like how you pseudo-dismissed bi erasure as "a nice $2 NPR podcast phrase" though. That seems like bi erasure... erasure? And in this case we're getting a second hand account, so it's not a given that the person decided that they're gay - it's possible that they started dating another guy and OP reported that as "going gay," in which case it'd be good to mention bi erasure.
So ultimately I agree with you that "going gay" can be fine, but just wanted to say your phrasing could have been better.
"Bi erasure" in this context seems like empty virtue signaling. I can't exactly interview OPs friend so I have to take them at their word that their friend says he's gay now. "Fucking vaginas is for pussies" certainly supports that hypothesis.
yes but he's not saying it, in this context, you are. And I don't (/anyone doesn't) have the exact context here. And I'm not saying he did anything wrong, I'm responding to what you said something that seems to me like bi erasure.
And you can disagree and that's OK. We're just giving our opinions here, there's no winners or losers or objective reality. You may even be gay/bi/other yourself (I wonder why you've any skin in the game here if you're not- but that aside...) - and we can disagree. It doesn't make either of us right or wrong.