OK, I'm not white knighting here.... but I don't want to see you become the butt of the joke. All of this double and triple entendre is getting out of control. For all of this back loading to properly work you need a proper tower case. Personally I'm into cases by the Eiffel company. Eiffel towers are the best! You can front load AND back load simultaneously (some hand holding for structural support may be necessary). I utilize a method that has been widely recognized as the best. You have the comedic effect of a Spit Take along side the slow burn of a good Roast over how sloppy you com ports are. The colloquial term is SpitRoasting.... it's quite the undertaking but if we all work hard we can make this all come together.