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this post was submitted on 22 Feb 2024
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What about when they do return the favour, though?
As someone who has spent a fair bit of time on the other side of this issue, I've found people tend to assume I'm being shitty even as I am actively going out of my way to accommodate and support them.
One time I moved someone from hourly to salary because he was very receptive to guidance and was learning very quickly - essentially I didn't want him to be compared on hourly terms as his pay increased, since the cap for more independent salaried employees was much higher. I was kinda risking my own ass in doing this since he had neither experience nor education, but I saw incredible potential, and felt it made sense. As part of this, to ensure he wouldn't be shortchanged by the conversion, I had payroll add 5K when they switched him. I expected this would be well received, but he had so many concerns that made absolutely no sense. We got through it, but in the end it seems he thought that all of the extra time I was spending personally to teach him a new role and help him get from ~40K to 100K within a year and a half was something to be wary of.
I have many stories like this. Sometimes when I feel hurt by people I've been so loyal to, I get urges to stop being compassionate and stop prioritizing their concerns so heavily. I don't think I'll ever change, but it is extra exhausting to go through this stuff over and over only to be lumped in with folks who do treat people like shit.
Perhaps the model is just fundamentally broken, and there's no way to win as long as there is any sort of power differential in the relationship (implied or otherwise). More and more I feel that that is what I'm up against, and no amount of concern for an employee's wellbeing will ever be able to overcome this.
So, my question is not rhetorical - I realize this isn't my post, but I'm super curious about others' perspective on this: are you open to the idea that at some point in your career someone might actually care about your wellbeing? Will it matter to you, or just ... get whatever you can, and never stop trying to fuck the system?
I'm currently at a job that just leaves me alone to do my job and gives me opportunities to learn new skills as they present themselves, none of these extra roles have came with a pay raise, but I havent had an OK paying job in YEARS where I actually look forward to showing up to work the next day (which I do feel about this one). There are different things a job can provide once the bills have been paid, and I'm sure SOME of your fellow co-workers/employees notice you giving a shit about them
I think the answer to this is actually fairly simple. When the bossman tells me something's in my best interest, I'm just immediately suspicious. Like I know in your example it maybe is, you've laid out your logic and all of that. But you have to realize that for every good boss, there's probably 15 bad ones. Western economic, labour systems and power structures have been so lopsided for generations, that it's literally hard coded in us to be suspicious. Whenever someone comes at me from work with a big smile and excitement, my flags FLY to red alert. Because I'm statistically far more likely to be on the raw side of the deal.
If I truly felt a company, or someone at the company, cared for me and my career I'd have no problem putting in the extra effort. Unfortunately it is a rare occurrence and most of the time decisions are revenue/cash flow related and it doesn't matter how much a company cares. At the end of the day, no matter how good things are where you work, it'll always come down to the bottom line and what value you provide vs what you are costing the company.