128

At what age do you think is too old to be living with parents? (lemmy.world)

submitted 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by treechicken@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

102 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Background+rant: I'm in my early to mid-20s and still living at home with my dad. I'm not a NEET and am employed at a normal office job. I enjoy the comfort of my home. I like being with family (and I believe they feel blessed to have their kid at home longer). I like not having to pay rent. However, I also keep feeling some nagging pressure to "grow up and leave the nest".

Everything in my mind tells me that moving out is irrational. I would lose 1/3rd of my income to rent, go through a bunch of logistical hoops to find a new place, lose the last few moments I have with my family, just so I can prove to nobody that I'm independent, maybe discover new things, and also probably get in on some of that loneliness action that the rest of my generation is going through.

Yet, the pressure is still there. No one looks down on me for it, but I feel a bit embarrassed to tell people I'm living at home, like I'm admitting failure or incompetency. My friends will occasionally ask when I'm planning on moving out and the question just lingers longer than it should in my head. I compare myself to my parents and grandparents and can't help but feel like a child compared to the people they were when they were at my age.

Obviously quite conflicted on this, so I'm interested in seeing what others have to say.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[-] hanekam@lemmy.world 41 points 8 months ago

The main quesiton is what you want long term. If you want to eventually move in with a romantic partner, I would advice you to get used to independent living beforehand. Having to cook for and clean up after a partner who never learned to live without mommy and daddy is a huge turn-off for most people and can sour a relationship very fast. I would ask you these questions:

Do you cook dinner for the household at least every week?

Do you clean the kitchen yourself after cooking?

Do you do the grocery shopping for the household?

Do you often tidy up the pots and pans after meals (not just your own plates and cutlery)?

Are you the one who takes a walk around the house putting away stray plates, glasses & clothes and tidying up? Do you do this at least once a day?

When something breaks, are you often the one who repairs or replaces it?

Is it typically tidier & neater when your parents are away than when they are home?

If you want to live with a romantic partner in the future, and the answer to any of these is no, I suggest you have a long hard think about whether you're preparing for the life you want, or just staying where it's comfortable.

[-] neo2478@sh.itjust.works 10 points 8 months ago

This is the key!

There is nothing inherently in living with your parents until any age I would say. As long as you learn how to be a self sufficient and independent individual, who shares the responsibility of the household.

this post was submitted on 26 Feb 2024

128 points (86.4% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26858 readers

1382 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world

Rules: (interactive)

1) Be nice and; have fun

Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them

2) All posts must end with a '?'

This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?

3) No spam

Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.

4) NSFW is okay, within reason

Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].

5) This is not a support community.

It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.

Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.