Hello. I'm going through a rough period and I need to take some things of my chest. I am a trauma survivor diagnosed with CPTSD. Although professionally and financially I am fairly successful, I am a deeply unhappy person.
My condition stems from a history of neglect and abuse from my family along from bullying at school. I always lacked someone to talk about my problems, so I grew up without a safe person to talk about my problems. I am not very social and I prefer solitude. I was born from a poor family in a 3rd world country. My life has always been about survival and trying to "get out of the hole". I eventually immigrated to a 1st world country and found my financial stability. I made my career the focus of my life. It works for me most of the time.
Recently I got laid off, so that impacted my mental health. Although I dislike this job and I was considering leaving, I cannot shake off the feelings that "I'm not enough". My work is not good these days. I am just counting the days before my termination becomes effective. Every time I make a mistake I beat myself up, I hear the much hated voice of my father pointing out the errors.
I know I am going through a rough patch and that eventually things will get better, but every day is uphill. I am fortunate that through therapy I have learned ways to ground myself and not let my negativity consume me, but it is painful.
Thanks for creating this space to share. All the best to those who struggle with mental health issues.
It must have been very difficult for you to open up like this, thank you for courageously sharing. This space is created by all of us. In some form or another, we all have been drawn toward this community for a reason. Also a reminder that we are not defined by our job. It's hard to hear how getting laid off has been affecting you, but please be kind to yourself and know that that job was not meant to be your permanent place. As much as therapy can be helpful, the difficult part truly is getting through the painful feelings day by day. Being able to vent like this is important and hopefully you'll be encouraging others to share their feelings as well.
Thank you very much for your kind message and for your work creating this space. Having the opportunity to express myself here has been very positive for me. I feel I am shedding weight and the road becomes a bit easier. I really appreciate it.