I understand feeling a little off, a little bit outside of everything and everyone. I feel like I've never been anyone's #1 choice to spend time with. Not my family, friends, husband, or kids. Never. It gets to me, even though I get it and don't want to spend time with myself either. It's tough. I hope you can find a good group of friends that you click with and can at least have fun experiences, even if you have periods of being alone in between.

Also, for the record, the weird dudes have no idea they're weird. If you're conscious about how you approach people, I'm already 100% sure you're not the problem. As we get older, everyone's lives are so busy and already entrenched in whatever they have going on that it's tougher to make deep friendships. Although I do see it happen again in the retired crowd. I like to go salsa dancing sometimes (well.. I did last year. I don't find joy in anything right now tbh), and most of the others that go are in their 50s+, with a lot in their 60s and 70s. So I guess life doesn't end at 40 after all?

Good luck, internet stranger.