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Been a while since I've posted here but missed you all!

I'd love for this to be a discussion question, but also I am legitimately asking.

I have a beautiful son who helped crack my egg when he was born. But I'm still struggling understanding what being a mom means other than "just how I feel"

I never had good blueprints for being a father or mother so all I know is generally "how to be a parent"

But I'm curious to those of you that have children. What does being a mother mean to you? What does being a father mean to you?

Thank you

-Liv

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[-] onevia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 7 months ago

Thank you for your response ❤️🥹

My son is 21 months old and his birth was a catalyst for my egg crack.

Ever since he was born I parented as my authentic self (whether I realized that at the time or not) so largely my parenting has been just that. Being the best parent I can be.

My wife and I were talking earlier today and we both for some reason are having a hard time seeing me as a "mom" but also not as a "dad" Somewhere in between, but in all other aspects we both see me as a woman. Dysphoria withstanding.

I'm not saying I feel like the parental roles should be different per se, that doesn't make sense to me. I view it as a full partnership and gender doesn't play a part.

But then on the other hand I feel like I'm taking something away from my son by feeling more and more disconnected from "daddy" and more connected to "something else" Like I don't deserve the title of mom or dad but something else. I desperately want to be mom but I love hearing my son run up to me yelling dada!. It warms my heart because that is his sound for me. For our special connection we share....

I think at the end of the day, I have some internal transphobia to work through because this is the one area of my transition where I have this sense of being a "trespasser" Being a mother has always been a dream of mine even when I didn't have the words for it. So why don't I feel like I am a mother? When in all aspects of life I am living as my authentic self.

😓

Anyways, thank you for coming to my Ted talk :)

this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2024
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